Winter's Secret: Book 5 of The Carpenter Blueprints
by Thomas A
Summary: What happened to Molly between the events of Cold Days and Skin Game? The the Courts may have been ordered to keep their hands off Molly while she learns how to control her new powers, that did not forbid them from playing in her mind; a place of shaky and unstable ground even before before the visitors arrived.
1. Chapter 1

**A Chilling Secret**

November 1

Chapter 1

Do you know that state of consciousness where you aren't asleep, but you really haven't woken up yet? Sometimes you can float there, your senses detached from your body, and just seem tune into the world around you without interacting with it at all. You feel like a leaf dragged along by a mighty river. That was where I was. I was still unconscious, but aware of everything going on around me.

I could feel a hand slowly stroking my hair as my head seemed cradled all comfortable and warm in someone's lap. I could hear a soft humming, feminine in tone it seemed, that also had a very slight undertone of sorrow laced through each note. And I could also smell something on the air around me that I could not immediately place. It held whiffs of wet dog, sweat, and male musk, the combination of which one would think would be repulsive and sure to draw me further into consciousness. Instead though it felt powerful and protective and made me relax even more. Yeah, it sort of smelled like Harry's apartment, before it burned down.

As my wizardry was more attuned to 'sensitive magics,' I also 'felt' the emotions of at least two beings close to me. Sadness indeed permeated my immediate area, along with anticipation, intrigue, and hunger. But festering in the background behind all of those were two I knew quite well – the power and cold confidence of a glacier. Their familiarity was less than comforting and jolted me into full consciousness. I spoke aloud even before I could visually confirm her identity.

"Leanansidhe…" My eyes fluttered open.

The face looking down upon me was not the nearly impossibly beautiful Fae being of the Winter Court who had taken the role of master in my wizardly training after Harry had 'died.' I say training but what it was more like was a series of near-death survival scenarios that usually left me exhausted, and on more than one occasion left Fomor, or other evil creatures, bleeding, battered, or dead. Basically picture the most sadistic military drill instructor imaginable and then mold that into an impossibly beautiful grandmotherly figure.

No the visage staring into mine seemed like a distorted combination of a man and rat. Its beady eyes and tufts of brownish-black facial fur were obviously not human, but the basic design of the features and the cunning sparkle in those orbs, far too intelligent for any rodent, were proof this was no mere animal. That human-sized and shaped head sat atop an enormous body that seemed even more grizzly-like than man or rat. Only the creature's hands at the end of its unnaturally long arms, both covered in the same dark fur, revealed again the creature's connection to humanity. It had fingers; but three instead of four, and an opposable thumb, each digit ending in a razor sharp, black claw. Oh yeah it was definitely a predator.

It was also the source of the musk, sweat, and wet dog odors that were now much more overpowering and nauseating because I was fully awake. And let me add to that wonderful combination an aroma of rotting meat on its breath as it looked down and smiled at my now open eyes.

"The pretty one awakens." The beast announced as it continued to cradle my head in its lap and comb my hair with its claws. I refused to focus on just what that lump my head rested upon was. Instead, I forced all my efforts on not making any sudden moves or loud noises such like leaping to my feet screaming. That forced caution slowed down the adrenaline coursing through my body and allowed me to fully enjoy the sudden aches I felt in every part of me. It wasn't the sharp pain of a recent injury; trust me I know those well, but instead a dull and continuous ache as if I was completely covered in bruises. Hell even the inside of my eyelids and the underside of my tongue felt like that.

"Ah, so you did survive." The familiar voice of The Leanansidhe, or Lea as she preferred, called out. ""We were beginning to doubt Harry's wisdom in choosing." Her volume increased. I sensed that glacier coming closer even though I couldn't see past the wall of fur between us.

Doubt Harry's wisdom? What the hell did that mean? Was she referring his wisdom in taking me on as an apprentice? No, Lea had gone as far as to call my magical abilities satisfactory, a high compliment coming from one of the Unseelie, during our numerous training bouts. So what was she talking about? And for that matter where was I and how did I get here? Think Molly!

Okay the last thing I remember is…

The island…Harry's island. We had gone there to stop Maeve and Lily, the Winter and Summer Ladies of the Fae courts, from unleashing all the evils trapped in the prison below. The way Harry had explained it, if the pair succeeded, it would be like a nuclear bomb going off in Chicago. Only instead of radioactive material being spread over the million of residents of the city, to include pretty much everyone and anyone I cared about, it would be concentrated evil magic. And if I understood the nature of the prisoners, many of the things out there had no half-life upon which they would start losing their potency. Instead they would only become even worse over time.

It was pretty much only for that reason, and well because Harry needed me, that I agreed to return to the island. The others with us were just as reluctant as me where that particular destination was concerned. I had heard Murphy once say that just stepping on the beach made her nauseous. I knew that was because of the poisonous malice that infused every rock and plant there. I noted Harry's brother Thomas, a White Court vampire with lots of family experiences of truly evil things, actually shuddered when his first footfall touched land. But both of their reactions were pale reflections compared to what I felt.

As a sensitive wizard, my first footfall acted like a gong alerting each of the countless beings imprisoned there that I had arrived. Did you ever experience a child so desirous of an adult's attention that when they finally get some they refuse to shut up? That was how it was for me at the first footfall. Only these were not children. These were purely malevolent beings, most of who were pretty much immortal, and had been denied the ability to inflict their wickedness upon anyone or anything for centuries. That's a whole lot of pent up, frustrated evil just looking for a way out. My presence on the island provided the first hairline crack in the magical dam that was their cells. And through that miniscule fracture poured out every vile thought and mental image imaginable and unimaginable.

Some came with inconceivable promises of payment for their freedom.

Some were far too conceivable threats of the punishments I would face if I refused to assist them.

And some had no conceivable purpose in my limited understanding. Think of them as just extended infomercials, if you will, on the evil home shopping network.

If I wasn't already crazy I'm pretty sure all of this would have driven me stark raving mad.

I scrambled out from under the paw of the creature stroking my hair and got to my feet, ignored the screaming of my body for the pain this caused, and backed away until I bumped up against the nearest wall. A quick glance confirmed it was a wall and not something worse. It also provided me a chance to see myself in the mirror-like reflective surface of ice that made up that wall and learn two things. First I was not covered in bruises, no matter how I felt, and in fact looked healthier than I had in, well forever. Second, whatever predatory instincts that thing I had been resting on had, it also was an unnaturally talented hair dresser. My locks were cut and styled to accent my face and dyed a stunning arctic blue color. I looked both hot and cool at the same time.

The creature-stylist made no move to rise or follow me with anything other than its eyes. Both the shaggy man-bear-rat and The Leanansidhe who was approaching from behind it, paused to let me get a bit more distance and perspective, their eyes undoubtedly noting the near panic in mine.

"Where the hell am I?" My question blurted out. The place I was in did not have the feel of Harry's island because there was no chorus of evil voices in my head, but that certainly did not make me feel safe. A quick glance around made me certain I'd never been in this particular room before, but its basic build material closely resembled the prison cell I had been locked in back in Arctis Tor; Home of Mab, The Winter Queen, and Queen of Air and Darkness. As Lea was Mab's handmaid/Girl Friday, that made logical sense.

"You are in Arctis Minora." Lea answered.

Well that certainly explained the decorum. But Arctis Minora was Maeve's home. That made no sense.

"Okay, now why the hell am I here?"

"What is the last thing you remember child?" Lea's voice was patient and she made no further move toward me. But I also knew Fae were very dangerous when they answered a question with a question. They couldn't lie. But they were masters at letting people lie to themselves

"I remember the fight on the island." I said, recalling images of various events as they tumbled up to my conscious mind. Harry, Queen Mab's Winter Knight, had done battle with Fix, Lily's friend and the Summer Knight. I had remained invisible the whole time because Harry wanted to keep me as his ace in the hole if everything went wrong.

"And…" Lea's guiding voice was gentle as she forced me to recall.

While the fight was brutal, Harry seemed to get the upper hand on the assembled Fae. He even turned the circle of magic the two Ladies had built for their freedom spell, to his own purposes and through it summoned Mab herself to put an end to the pair's plans. But then, right when we were on the verge of victory it all fell apart.

Maeve turned a gun on her ally Lily and put a bullet in the Summer Lady's temple. With only the time for a look of surprise, the immortal Seelie of the Summer Court fell dead on the one day a year she was vulnerable. And then seconds later as the various observers reacted in shock at this unexpected event, I watched the Mantle of Summer as it rose up out of Lily's body and slammed home like and arrow into Sarissa's. She was Harry's friend who had also acted as his trainer as he learned how to use the Winter Knight's power. She was also the nearest suitable vessel for such power.

"I remember Maeve killing Lily and Sarissa becoming the new Lady of Summer." I continued my answer as the events played out in my mind.

"And then?" Lea asked, still patiently keeping her distance. My magic senses though felt the rising anticipation within her but that was merely background music to the images in my head.

Maeve was laughing in triumph. We're talking the full out psychotic laugh of Harley Quinn with none of the endearing innocence she brings to the idea of a lunatic with a thousand sticks of dynamite. Maeve meant business, and nothing less of destruction of our world and foiling her mother's plans were going to satisfy her.

But Queen Mab, while shocked by Lily's sudden death, didn't let her sense of supreme confidence waiver even though it was obvious to all the Winter Queen had been working toward Sarissa replacing Maeve. That made sense. Harry had explained to me very early on that Mab usually had a plan for every contingency. The fact that Harry was both still alive and serving as the Winter Knight after he had one of the best trained killers on the planet pump a pair of bullets in his chest was proof of this. So it was no surprise to see Mab patiently allowed her daughter Maeve to think she had won when my senses told me that was most assuredly not the case.

Harry, however, did react. It seemed he figured out what the Queen had planned and tried to put a halt to it by calling on Maeve stop the next action he saw coming. I was so fixated on him that I didn't see Mab's finger twitch. I merely felt the power of her spell fly through the air and strike its target; not Maeve pointing her gun at Harry, but Murphy.

In an instant, Karrin yanked a small, backup revolver from her ankle holster then turned and fired at the Winter Lady a fraction of an instant before Maeve's second shot fired toward Harry.

Murphy was a much better shot.

For the second time in as many minutes, a Lady of the Fae Courts fell dead upon the island prison. And with her, all the evil beings held below and anticipating their freedom let forth a cry of rage and disappointment at their restored eternal sentences. I'm pretty sure, of all those present, only I, and perhaps that thing that is the living, sentient part of the island, heard these wails. The raw emotions were so great, enhanced further by the underlying evil of their owners that its surge left me wobbly and disoriented.

As such I failed to note the mantle of the Winter Lady rise out of her body like a bright white light, and only recognized it for what it was as it grew even brighter in the night's sky. In fact, it grew so bright it was blinding to look upon. And its power so close to me that it felt like I'd suffered a physical blow from its presence.

Everything was white.

"Then Maeve was killed." I whispered to Lea.

Then I could remember nothing else...

"That is all I remember…"

Until I awoke here.

I turned to look at The Leanansidhe and found her once more judging me with her eyes as she had done so many times during my training. Usually, I would be standing battered and bleeding, often surrounded by the dying remains of her 'test,' as I awaited my grade. Satisfactory was the highest I ever achieved in her eyes, which I guess was the Fae grade for living through such encounters. But I sensed a bit more excitement in Lea now than those other times.

She smiled at me. "All hail Molly Carpenter…." She said with a bow of her head. The man-bear-rat on the ground actually shuffled to its knees so it could bend prostrate before me, an action I'd never observed any Fae above six inches in height ever offer a mortal; not even Harry. But Lea had not finished speaking.

"…Heir to the Mantle of the Winter Lady!"

What?

Heir to the…?

Oh Hell!

What had I gotten myself into now?

The silence after that declaration lasted for what must have been minutes, time in Nevernever is hard to judge, as I tried to piece together what Lea had just said.

"So you're telling me I'm the Winter Lady?" The implications of that were staggering. I sensed the new wells of power Harry had at his command as the Winter Knight. If I had even a fraction of that power…

But wait. I turned my senses inward as if looking in a mirror. I didn't have this pool of magical energy inside of me. If anything, my magic seemed even weaker than normal.

"No." Lea confirmed what I had just deduced. "You are the designated heir to the Winter Lady's mantle. But until you unlock the Secret of Winter, you cannot access the power of the Mantle. And until such time as you wield it, will any in the Winter Court obey your commands."

Lea paused to look at me and for a moment I thought I sensed sympathy in the ancient faerie's demeanor. "I tell you truth child. The rest of the Winter Court will long to see you fail in this endeavor. Each hopes that the power within you transfers to them instead of some mortal girl, undeserving in their eyes." She cautioned.

"Well they are welcome to it." I certainly had enough problems of my own to deal with. I didn't need to add this on top of that. From what I saw with Maeve, the Mantle was certainly one of those magics I wanted nothing to do with. Sure the raw power would be cool, but I had enough trouble just controlling my current abilities even with Lea's progress or die instructions.

"I do not think you understand." Lea returned to her educational and unemotional tone. "The Mantle only transfers when the holder dies…"

Well that's not good.

"…or someone kills her."

And that's worse.

"But have no concerns on that score. Queen Mab has ordered that none of the Winter Court may lay tooth or talon upon your flesh, nor cause you harm through magic. Only if you are foolish enough to strike one of them may they raise hand against you in self defense to bring you harm." Her gaze grew steely. "I highly advise you not to provide any such opportunity. The closest Fae to you at the time of your death will likely be the next recipient of the Mantle. Therefore, I'm sure any one of them would make the most of such a prospect if it somehow presented itself."

Okay, if that was true it certainly wasn't good. And while the Fae could not lie, it still left a nagging question with me that I had to ask. "And why should I trust you? Don't you want the Mantle for yourself? Surely you would not mind the power it brings with it. Your power would rival Queen Mab herself."

The Leanansidhe smiled. "I would indeed." She nodded. "And that is why I have no such desire. I have tasted such power and responsibility and during that time my focus wandered and I was as sick as Maeve. It was only through my Queen's grace that I live today to serve her." The involuntary shudder her body made at the memory of Mab's 'grace' was enough to convince me of Lea's sincerity.

"Not all in the Winter Court are so blessed with wisdom and experience as I." She tacked the conversation to a new course. "Because there are a number among us who thing themselves too sly for even the Queen to catch, I have called in a service owed to me on your behalf." She nodded to the prostrated man-bear-rat. "He now has added your scent and magic to his catalogue of every being he has ever encountered, including most of our Court. It is an ability he has proven to be beyond in the past as a tracker that exceeds any other I have ever witnessed. If you somehow die mysteriously, not only will he be able to tell from your corpse all who have come into contact with you, but he will even know what emotions they were feeling at the time of your death. I have made all the Court aware that your assassination therefore will result only in the killer's death."

Wow. Was such a sense of smell even possible? I mean of course it was since Lea couldn't lie. Such forensics certainly put anything Butter's could do to shame. Of course, I'm pretty sure man-bear-rat's testimony wouldn't hold up in a human court of law. But since Mab was going to be playing Judge Judy in the case of my death, I'm pretty sure it would keep most of the Fae in check. Well, except for the obvious problem.

"What is to keep my killer from killing you friend as well?" It's not like committing a double murder to gain power would upset many of them.

"There are few I think capable, and let's just say they would find their success very short-lived." There was that disturbing 'I know something you don't know' smile of hers.

"So, what, big and hairy here is going to be my shadow everywhere?" Yeah that was going to be hard to explain if I dropped in on mom and dad, or if I went shopping, or just wanted to take a shower.

"No Wendigo will come if you call, but otherwise he will be using his abilities to sniff out plots against you, quite literally in this case."

She called it Wendigo? From my studies with Harry, that was the name Native Americans in Canada used for a Bigfoot-like creature. Of course, in those stories it was a monster that killed and ate travelers who got lost in the woods, not just something that scampered off when seen. I had never believed the killing part because it was a common part of every monster story, but the predatory appearance of the creature before me forced an immediate reassessment to its nature and if it were even a Bigfoot. Harry had a friend among the Forest People, as they called themselves, but his description of that one never mentioned rat-like features in its face.

"What is to stop Wendigo from killing me to get the Mantle?"

"He is not of the Winter Court but rather one of the Wild Fae so could not lay claim to its power." Lea answered. "He serves now as agent of the Erlking, one of his hounds during the Hunt. His role here merely reflects his desire to erase the debt he owes me."

Yeah Fae were not big on owing debts to others. It was one of the few traits they all shared regardless of which Court they belonged to. But that reminded me of something else I needed to consider. "And what then do I owe you for providing his services?"

Lea smiled even more broadly. "Let's not worry about that now. I am considering this merely a high-risk investment. If you live to claim the Mantle then the favor you owe me in return will prove to be respectable interest on the one I now offer. And of course if you don't…"

Yeah, investment lost.

Well that was her problem. I needed to focus on the task at hand.

"Okay, so what is this Winter's Secret I need to find?"

Lea's smile added a hint of wickedness. "I know not. I assumed mortals understood the concept of a secret was something not widely shared."

Okay, I walked into that one. The Fae were notorious as word games so I had to phrase my question more precisely.

I took a moment to choose my words correctly. "What can you tell me of this quest for Winter's Secret that I am to undertake?"

"Better." She nodded in approval before answering. "I know only that to wield the Mantle you must learn the Secret that lies at the heart of Winter's power. To my knowledge, no one beyond the rulers of the Court has ever uncovered it."

Okay, in my case that should make it an easy task. "So I can just ask Harry? He's the Winter Knight after all."

Lea shook her head. "He is Winter's champion, not one of its rulers." She explained. "His power is bestowed by the Queen herself, not claimed. He will have no knowledge of the secret."

Yeah, I remember seeing the bestowal of Harry's power. That wasn't a secret. It was a live televised draft day event. It was also not one I wished to replicate. Great so I'm dealing with a Green Lantern ring thing here. With Maeve dead that left few viable options.

"And I take it Mab is not about to help me out here?"

"She has no time or desire to speak with you until the Mantle is claimed. She carries the duties of both the Queen and the Lady until you assume your role or another takes your place." Lea explained. This was perfectly in keeping with Mab's personality. Why help out and reduce the burden on everyone when she could be a cold, aloof, bitch? She didn't believe in wasting time conversing with those unworthy of her attention.

Lea was not yet finished. "But she did direct me to also convey that you have only a mortal year in which to assume your role or she will find another more fitting to wear the Mantle." By which I assumed that the no hunting season on Mollys would expire.

Great, now there was a deadline too. Mab didn't want to shoulder the Lady's workload any longer than necessary. It probably was a distraction from her own schemes. Harry said such arrangements had occurred in the Court before and it usually caused chaos which is why I only had a year.

Wait a minute…

"I thought you have wielded Mab's power in her stead." I pointed out. "How is that possible if only those who know this great and all powerful Winter's Secret can do it?"

"You confuse using power with owning power. The Queen lent me her strength so that I may serve her wishes. Her power was never mine to claim as the Mantle is for you."

Okay, that sort of made sense. It was like borrowing your parents' car to run errands for them. You didn't own it. And if you screwed up while driving it there would be hell to pay.

'So is there anything you can advise me on how to learn this Secret?"

"I am afraid not." She shook her head and the subtle sense of sorrow I'd felt earlier now grew a bit stronger. "Mab and her daughter served for millennia so there has been no one seeking this out for a long time. In fact, to many in the Court, the whispers of a Winter's Secret was considered a fanciful myth among my kind. I myself would have dismissed the idea of its necessity to rule had the Queen not told me so herself."

And since Fae cannot lie, even to other Fae, there must indeed be a secret. Well it's nice to know I won't be wasting what could be the last year of my life on something that exists rather than a UFO hunt, or for that matter a guy in touch with his emotions.

But what was being asked of me was still impossible just from a logistical standpoint. The world was a pretty big place, and that is not counting all the crossover points with the Nevernever. I could spend a wizard's lifetime walking and never reach my destination. And that was only if whatever residents I encountered, didn't mind me passing through their territory. I'm not a earth-shaking combat wizard like Harry, so travelling would be a major problem.

"I don't suppose you can provide one of those magic flying cars like in the Harry Potter movies?" She probably had the magic to make a car fly, but the spell would only last until dawn. The idea of owing Lea three hundred and sixty five services for daily transportation was not a viable option.

Thankfully Lea looked confused by the reference but did understand the underlying gist of my question. "While you cannot wield the Mantle's power, because it resides within you, your body is attuned to it. As such you can travel to any location where snow or ice resides by merely concentrating upon your destination."

Well that certainly would be helpful. By my general understanding of magic, something as powerful as Winter's Secret was almost certainly kept in just such a place. Such a natural ability to travel also explained why the Summer Court ladies always showed up in places of nature and sunshine. The two courts were equal but opposite.

"I must attend to my Queen's duties." Lea's rising impatience told me she had provided all she was willing or capable of. The Fae, even though immortal, did not like to waste their time on humans. "Is there any further knowledge you require at this time to understand your situation?"

I could not come up with anything immediately and I didn't want to keep her around longer than was necessary. Better not to burn that bridge now if I find I needed to ask her something later.

"No." I shook my head. "You have my thanks and gratitude for all you have provided."

"You may save your gratitude. I will prefer cashing in the favor once you have taken up your new role."

With that she turned to the man-bear-rat that still lay quietly on the floor. "Wendigo, go forth and hunt those who would do the Lady-in-Waiting harm." Yeah, not a title I'd want to have written on a business card.

The creature leapt to its feet more like a stag than a bear, and bound through the only doorway in the room. Lea gave one last appraising look at me, and then without another word turned on her heel and followed him out the door leaving me alone to my thoughts.

Yeah that was not a comfortable place, so I focused instead on my surroundings. For the first time since waking up I had a chance to look at the room I was standing in.

It sort of reminded me of a House of Mirrors they had at travelling carnivals. Clear, seamless, ice formed the walls and ceiling and reflected back at me the image of a girl in way over her head. Okay, a girl with an absolutely stunning new hairstyle, but still one in way over her pretty head. I stood there for a long time trying to adjust to my new reality and not really thinking of anything in particular, until the ticking deadline I was under forced me to stop feeling sorry for myself.

"Okay Mollly, where do we start?" The room of ice echoed my rhetorical question. Talking to myself was a bad habit I'd picked up while living on the streets.

"It seems the mortal's mind has already broken under the strain." A new female voice spoke. I turned to my left toward the only door to find not one, but two females of the Winter Sidhe standing in the doorway.

One whose attire seemed completely limited to strips of electrical tape answered the first who only wore streaks of indigo body paint that matched her hair. "I'm not surprised. My human toys always seem to break when I'm playing with them." The lustful undertones of her emotions made it clear what type of playing she was speaking of.

Indigo appraised me from head to toe. "I have little faith that his one will prove any more durable." She stared at me with a steady demeanor. "This is a cold, hard world human." Lots of disregard added as a topping to the word human.

"Who are you?" I turned to face them full on and strode forward so only half the room separated us. Better not to appear weak to them. I also reached down to prepare some defensive magic if the need arose.

"We're live in guests of Maeve, the true owner of this home." Tape Girl answered. No doubt these were a pair of my predecessor's clubbing partners. For the record I meant 'clubbing' both in the party sense and the big whacking stick sense.

"Well I'm sorry for you loss." I said taking two more steps forward. "But feel free to stick around if you have nowhere else to go."

The pair kept their eyes trained on me but neither move forward. Nor did they back off. They just stood blocking the only exit from the room.

"Now, If you will let me through…" I tried reason one more time.

"I don't think so." Indigo replied. I could feel her hostility and desire for a fight building up.

Well so much for Mab's order to leave me alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Chilling Secret**

Chapter 2

You know there is a stereotype out there that the male of the species, pretty much every species, just spends his days desiring to engage in unnecessary conflict to prove his superiority over others. Some believe this is a remnant of a genetic mating ritual that to prove the superiority of genes and make women more open to mating with the winner. If so, they claim, the need for this long ago became unnecessary.

I think that theory is pretty much a load of crap.

Sure, I know lots of guys willing to throw down, but usually it is more for entertainment than dominance. After the fight it's not uncommon for the two combatants to share beer and go on like nothing happened. Hell, I've heard in World War One a whole section of soldiers on both sides of the lines actually stopped on Christmas to play soccer together and share some food. That doesn't really fit with the brainless combatant image of men that the theory tries to project.

Now we women on the other hand are a completely different story. We are always scrambling for dominance over one another. We revel in the chance to move up the unconsciously established pecking order. The only thing is we fight our wars on much different battlefields and with much different weapons then men.

When a new woman enters our environment she is immediately judged a threat. Our eyes are drawn to them as we make a quick assessment of where she falls upon the pecking order ladder that we have established. Is she prettier than I am? How good is her fashion sense? How many men are noticing her? That and dozens of other little questions are quickly evaluated and catalogued in our minds so we can determine which rung on the ladder she is standing.

Those who lie far below us we tend to easily dismiss and not spend another moment thinking about. Those high above we admire for their success, but try not to think too much about so we don't get depressed. We do, however, secretly await any opportunity to revel in the downfalls of our superiors. Why do you think women's magazine articles spend more time on scandals of powerful women than on successes? Why do you think tabloids that show celebrity women at their worst sell out three times faster than scandal about men? It's what we want to read!

For those women who end up grouped in the same general range as we are though, the battle for dominance begins almost immediately and never ends, even if one publicly admits defeat. We start with simple things to knock them down a rung at a time. "Aren't you getting a little old to wear a skirt that short?" "Oh, how quaint, is that your grandmother's purse?" "Wow, I had a bad hair day like that once." "When we were dating, you ex-boyfriend told me about your eating disorder. I'm so sorry." If physical appearance does not look to be the best attack vector, we can in a heartbeat transfer to career or relationships as well without the men around us even understanding the war taking place right before them. Back and forth we go taking shots and tallying our points until one side wins the round, which is usually signaled by the other side having an immediate need to be somewhere else.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because that is the normal way women fight our wars.

Only on rare occasions, such as now, does the game go directly to physical confrontation. Unlike guys, though, when we go physical there are no unwritten rules like avoiding shots to the groin. It's truly a last woman standing event.

"Okay, so what is the plan here girls?" I asked Body Paint and Tape Girl as I did a quick assessment of them. No weapons visible and nowhere to hide any so that meant if things got physical it was going to be a straight up catfight. Both stood confidently telling me they had danced that particular tango before. But hey, so had I.

From my other senses I detected that both had a fairly average magical capability they could draw upon, which made them more deadly than a pair of human women, but nothing I was too concerned over. In my experience most Fae had one or two signature spells they relied upon for intimidation or, in the case of these two, probably just torture. Such spells rarely were useful in a full out spell battle though.

"We simply plan to stay right here blocking the doorway until you starve yourself to death or you try to force your way past." Tape Girl said while evaluating her jet black fingernails. She must have had blood or something on them because I could see her trying to scrape something off. "of course if you were to try to force your way past us that would look like an attack. In that case we would merely be defending ourselves so as to not break the Queen's commandment."

Not a whole lot of creativity there, but then again the simplest plans were always the most effective. It did tell me that neither of the two thought very highly of me, or rather both thought incredibly highly of themselves. On their personal ladders, I wasn't on any of the visible rungs. Well I might as well take the time do a quick emotional workup on the pair since there was no immediacy to the danger they posed.

"You know I'm a wizard, right?" I called forth my magic to set a little flame upon my hand as a demonstration. Winter folk tend to fear fire so I could probably just hold it up, for light, not as a threat, and get them to back up and give me room. Unfortunately, the spell failed leaving me with just an open hand and a look of shock and embarrassment on my face. That had not happened in a long time.

"A human wizard…" Tape Girl stressed human with a double portion of disdain at my demonstration, or lack thereof.

"And not a very good one it seems." Body Paint added this, I sensed, more to have the last word over her friend than to put me down further.

"Sure, but my point is that all I have to do is open a doorway and I can be back on Earth."

Tape Girl stopped checking her manicure and turned to me. "I think you will find that is not an option in this case. The other side of this room would deposit you at your North Pole, but hundreds of feet underwater." She smiled. "Please warn me if you plan to be this foolish as I don't want my new birthday dress to get ruined by your suicide."

Dress? Really? It's a friggin role of electrical tape! If that qualifies as high fashion here, then I need to tell my dad his tool box is now a rival for Versace. Still that meant the door was my only means of escape.

Well, except for what Lea said about being attuned to places of snow and ice. I guess I could pop myself out of here to Alaska or Greenland with just a thought. But running away from these two would just extend, or worse increase, my problem. Pretty soon word would get out about my chickening out and the whole Winter Court would be trying to get in the way of my search just to frustrate me. I needed to do something that would intimidate these two, and serve as an example to the rest to leave me alone. I also had to do this without actually attacking them. That was a tricky balancing act, but one I was happy to try after so many recent fights of the other type.

"You guys know that the Winter Knight is my very close friend, right?" When in doubt name drop was always a good, nonviolent option. I wonder if they had ever heard of Marcone?

"How close?" This time Body Paint jumped in and cut off Tape Girl, much to the latter's annoyance. The sexual innuendo in those two words though was nearly dripping. And they say that guys' brains are wired to only focus on one subject.

"No, not like that…" I answered reflexively and awkwardly. I felt their disdain for me only increase. "I mean it could be like that, only we never seem to have…" Can I get some more awkward? Wow I was back in high school all over again.

"What a disappointment. I thought you might be able to tell us where his tastes lie. He seems a delectable morsel that I wish to sample. Perhaps, I will dine and let YOU know just what you're missing." Tape Girl's voice now turned to pity for me. Her plans for Harry were obviously truthful from her body's emotional reaction. And if anything, her friend had even bigger plans in that area. Oh yeah, it was so on now!

I sat down on the floor to look as unintimidating as possible and called on my other skills. "I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you." I responded to Tape girl without making eye contact. Instead I focused on the various emotions the pair of them were emitting. Fae creatures tend to be driven completely by their emotions, so for me this was like sifting through a rainbow. I was good at this. "I happen to know you are not his type."

There it is! I plucked her black string that represented pride. Okay, it was more like a rope in her case, but the point was I flicked it.

"WHAT?" Tape Girl's reaction was a bit louder that I had expected. That string was obviously connected to an emotional amplifier. That was too bad for her. "Look at me. I am perfection itself. Do you truly think any man, or woman for that matter, would deny what I offer?"

I kept following it. Wow that black string wove through everything in her didn't it? "Look, I'm just saying you should not get your hopes up. I mean sure, I think you are pretty hot, were I to have such inclinations, but Harry's very particular in that regard. Maybe you should just work on being friends first, or get him drunk and see where it goes from there."

"Just because he found you undesirable doesn't mean he will find us the same." Body Paint's rainbow was equally diverse, but her dominant strings for her were a bit different. There was this gray colored one of doubt she tried to conceal under the others. It seemed a great place to start the next part of the song.

Pluck.

"Oh, I wasn't talking about you." I held my face still to not give anything away. "I'm pretty sure Harry would be all over you if he could get you alone and away from your friend there." I nodded to Tape Girl for emphasis. "After Mab's little transmission to the world during his…aaahhh…I guess I'd call it ascension…he tends to be a bit shy about public displays of affection. I can't really say I blame him." The mindless banter was to allow time for my words to sink in.

"WHAT?" Tape Girl got it first and jumped right back in. "You're suggesting the wizard would choose her over me?" Well lookie lookie, here is where the green jealousy string crosses the black string.

"Hey, I'm not trying to judge or anything. Like I said I'd be all over you if I played that way. I've just been around Harry a lot and I know his tastes." I took a breath. "Let me give you an example. This one time he was going out to one of the local singles bars for some action with his White Court vampire brother Thomas. Before they left Harry had some very specific directions for his brother. He said as his wingman there were only two things he wanted to hear Thomas say all night. First was 'Harry you're under attack and your coat is on fire.' And second was 'I'll take the fat one.'"

I looked Tape Girl in the eyes.

PLUCK

"Just so you know, when you are standing next to your friend, in his eyes you'd be the fat one." I'm so glad Harry taught me how to play poker.

"WHAT?!"

My God, Tape Girl needs to work on her vocabulary. You would think beings that are nearly immortal could expend a little energy to improve themselves. But what are you going to do? Well, back to her rant.

"You're saying that your precious human wizard…" Again she added the double dose of disdain on the word human. "…would choose to be with this creature…" And let's place a single dose of disdain on the word 'creature,' though it really does not need it, as she pointed accusingly at her friend. "…instead of with me?"

I followed the pointing finger. Let's see if I boost up this blue confidence line on Body Paint up to eight, and pluck the smaller pride line, what will that sound like?

"Creature?" Hmmm… Not quite enough confidence. Let's take that one up to ten. "CREATURE?!"

Yeah, there it is!

"Only trolls would choose you over me." You go Body Paint! I didn't see that troll thing coming.

"WHAT?!" Seriously Tape Girl, let me get you a thesaurus. "You dare to suggest I would take a troll to me bed?"

"No, I am pretty sure you already have." Body Paint turned to face her friend directly. I stayed seated but slid back a bit further still. "Unless the real reason your room smells like a troll cave is because of you."

Nice! Well in a Winter Court smack down kind of way. Pretty sure that is a line that I wouldn't find much use for at home.

SLAP!

Tape Girl's blow sent her friend falling back on her rear end. How exactly a Fae could make even something like that look graceful is one of the great mysteries of life. But graceful or not, she still crashed down on her ass and was not pleased to do so.

Tape Girl did not stop with just a blow. She went for the double whammy! "Have respect on how you speak to your betters!"

Okay I turned off my subtle magic and slid a bit further back to enjoy the rest of the show.

Body Paint sprang back up. I could feel her drawing in magic for a spell. "I see no one here who fits that description troll whore." I missed the next word but whatever it was cause two shining daggers of razor sharp ice to appear in each of her hands. It was a visually impressive spell but a lot of magic expended for something she could have just drawn from her pocket, well if she had pockets that is. She pointed these magical icicles at her companion as an obvious threat against her life.

Tape Girl pulled in her own magic. This time I heard the words. _"Frigidis Draconis!"_ A cone of frost erupted from her mouth as the last syllable was uttered.

Body Paint must have seen this all before. As her friend called out the words she dove to the ground but toward her opponent, trying to get under the spell and in the process in range to strike a blow of her own. The temperature in the room dropped fast as I scrambled to the side to make sure I was out of the line of fire.

Body Paint almost made it. Unfortunately the edge of spell caught her lower legs and feet, instantly turning them white with frostbite and then transforming them into solid ice. When they struck the ground the ice shattered in hundreds of shards.

But Body Paint's momentum of her dive carried her forward sliding along the floor. Because Tape Girl's magic had created a frost cloud in front of her own face, effectively causing self-induced snow blindness; she failed to note her partner's course and speed until she felt Body Paint's torso sliding between her legs. Before her mind could give the order to jump away from the danger, the twin icicle daggers drove into both of Tape Girl's inner thighs and Body Paint's remaining momentum ripped all the flesh away down to the bone as she slid just past her former friend.

Tape Girl collapsed to the ground right beside her. As both had suffered multiple vital arteries being severed, the last mutual competition the two shared was which one of them was going to bleed out first. I really had no preference in this case, so let's just call it a tie, shall we?

I waited a little bit to ensure they were both truly dead before I stood up and walked to the doorway. As a fan of horror movies, I knew one of the biggest mistakes a victim makes was walking within reach of the monster that was only playing dead.

I had just convinced myself it was safe when another voice called out and scared the bejesus out of me.

"That was well done." The approving tone from an elder Fae woman was not what I was expecting. Still as she stepped to the doorway I instinctively scrambling back away from her until I could assess the new situation. She noted my actions but seemed unconcerned, and stopped just outside and beyond the pair of remains, effectively blocking me in again.

That's just great! Was there a whole line of winter faeries waiting to take their place in line? If so, I might have to chance trying the Mantle's transportation spell just to get out of here.

She continued talking as if we were already engaged in a conversation. "Of course you did leave quite a mess, but that is to be expected from young ones like yourself." She eyed me up and then looked back at the bodies.

Well since she wanted to talk I might as well oblige her. There would be time for violence and explosions, if that became necessary, after we were done pretending to be polite. "And who are you, another one of the Winter Court planning to get in my way?"

"Me?" She looked shocked. "Absolutely not. You may call me Helga. My job is to clean up little messes, not create more." As if to prove her point, she waived her hands and a set of animated brooms, dustpans, mops, and buckets appeared and began to tackle the remains of the fight while Helga monitored their progress with a critical eye. The cleaning tools all knew they jobs and went about their work without complaint, though one of the mops did seem a bit testy to me.

I waited for Helga's next move but she seemed focused only on the task at hand leaving the two of us in an awkward silence. Have I mentioned I hate awkward silences? Okay so I guess it falls to me.

"Hey Mickey, don't you worry the sorcerer will get upset with you using his magical hat in this way?" Okay, I know, but in a situation like this I had to ask. I doubted I'd ever get the chance again.

She looked cross-eyed at me and then raised a graying eyebrow in judgment. Oh boy, not a Disney fan I guess. But thankfully she broke into a smile followed immediately by a deep belly laugh.

"I cannot recall the last time we had innocent wit, rather than directed biting humor spoken in these cold halls. Young ones today are far too serious, much like constipated ogres." She paused. "Have you ever encountered a constipated ogre my dear?"

I shook my head while trying to wrap my mind around a sentence that contained both the words constipated and ogre. As such I almost missed the rest of her compliment.

"You will certainly be a welcome change to these dreary halls Molly Carpenter. That is if you are successful in your quest."

"So, you know about my quest?" What am I saying? I'm pretty sure everyone in the Winter Court new about my quest. Hell with the death of both the Winter and Summer Ladies, I doubt there were few magical beings unaware of my quest.

"I do." Her words were cautious, and I noticed that for once I was not getting an immediate read on her emotions like I did with most other Fae. I looked a bit deeper and still came back with almost nothing. The sole exception was a sense of curiosity directed at me, which was probably the most natural, and least dangerous, emotion I could expect,

Based on this I decided to take a different tact. "So, you're not going to try and stop me?"

"Ah, Valhalla no, I most certainly am not." Valhalla? Oh, yeah got it. And since Fae cannot lie, her answer was rather comforting. At this rate I might just make it out of this room after all.

Speaking of which, I better take the opportunity while I have it then. I started to make my way toward her so I could be on my way. "Okay then, that's good because I have this deadline I have to meet. I also don't even have the first clue on where to begin, much less succeed." My goal was getting out of the Nevernever where things wanted to kill me, and then trying to figure out a plan.

She gave me a look of understanding just like my mother occasionally wore, well at least one that Charity wore on the rare occasions when she wasn't unhappy with my current taste in clothes. "If it is of any comfort to you, I can tell you that both Mab and Maeve were just as nervous upon starting out on their own quests as you are now." The very thought of a Winter Fae offering a nice word of encouragement through me for a loop.

Then the truth and implications of her words hit me. "Wait a minute, are you saying you were around when Mab and Maeve each came to power?" For some reason I has always assumed they were the first, and everything else sort of sprung up later.

"I was indeed."

That made no sense to me so I blurted things out without really thinking. "Then how are you just a cleaning woman? Are you really a cleaning woman?" There were other things with long lifespans, dragons for instance. Maybe I was being set up after all.

Helga merely looked perplexed. "I don't understand your question."

Okay time for blunt. "Look, in my limited experience, for something to live as long as you claim it has to be pretty badass. The oldest vampires are the toughest. The oldest dragons are pretty much invincible. How is it that someone who has lived as long as you claim to is merely serving as a maid? Why aren't you running a small kingdom and having lots of servants bowing down to you instead?"

"First of all, I don't only clean. I also cook! And I am very good at it." She said with pride. "But I see where your misconception lies. While it is true that for those who scramble for power, you either succeed or life is violently short…" She pointed to the last bits of mess at her feet. "…those who take up less aggressive lifestyles to not face the same survival of the fittest conditions. I am quite confident that in your world Kings and Queens are rarely the ones with the longest lifespans."

Okay, that was true. Wasn't the oldest living person currently some fisherman in Japan or something? It's not like cleaning women went to war with each other for power or glory, so why shouldn't they live long lives? It was something worth remembering if I actually succeeded on my quest.

"To tell you the truth, I have watched Mab and Maeve perform the duties of their office for centuries and am glad to not have to shoulder such responsibility. I prefer to do a few small tasks right, like keeping rooms clean, or making a wonderful dinner, than try to accomplish grand things. I leave the world shattering plots to those with larger egos than my own." The last was tossed out as a minor rebuke of my bias, and perhaps a caution if I succeeded on my quest. Speaking of, maybe she could help with that.

Helga was now evaluating the cleaning job her cleaning tools had done and pointing out a few areas that could use a bit more work when I interrupted her. "If you have been around so long, do you know Winter's Secret?" I figured it didn't hurt to ask. "Or I'd settle to know where Maeve and Mab went to learn the Secret at least?" It was a pretty big world, so a first step in the right direction would be a huge help.

Helga ignored me directed the last mop to scrape away the only remaining streak of red on the now otherwise pristine floor. I had been too distracted to see what became of the rest of the remains, and in truth I didn't really care to know. I assumed feeding an army of trolls and ogres, among other things, was not an easy task.

Only once the mops and brooms had finished their tasks, leaving the ice once more free of any trace of blood that had been spilled did she choose to answer my question. With a wave of her hand, the cleaning tools all disappeared and she focused once more on me.

"I do indeed know of a course that will lead to discovering the secret." She said slowly and cautiously. "Like all such paths that lead to power, this one has many dangers that you will need to overcome, both familiar and unfamiliar. It will most certainly require great things of you if you are to succeed. And..."

I was pretty sure where this was going. "Let me guess, you're going to tell me 'all magic comes with a price.'" While I knew from personal experience that was true, that catch phrase had become way too popular and overused in the last few years.

"It does." She nodded.

"And what will you charge me?"

"If you start down the path I offer, then you choose the price to be paid, not I."

"Wait, so you're saying I choose how much your help is going to cost me?" That did not sound Fae-like.

She shook her head, "No, my assistance is free."

Free? From a Fae? Was that even possible? "Okay, so what is the catch?"

"It is merely all that I have said, and all that you choose to give." What the heck did that mean? God the Fae can be so annoying!

Let's try this one more time so I can clarify. "If I ask you, you will show me the path to the Secret? There will be a cost, but not one you will demand of me. Have I got this right?"

"I will do one better because I like you young Molly Carpenter. I will place your first foot upon the path myself." I had an instant image of having my leg chopped off, but that was probably a remnant from the battle I'd just witnessed. She still was not projecting any hostile emotions, but then again I was still having trouble getting any read on her.

"And we can begin…"

"Immediately, if you so choose." She looked me over. "But you will need some food for the road."

She snapped her fingers and a Dukes of Hazard lunchbox appeared in her hands. It looked exactly like the one I had…okay…uuummmm…the one I had seen at a second hand store the other day. Alright, fine, I used to think Bo Duke was cute. Are you happy now? Can I get on with my story?

"I hope you like cake." She handed me the metal lunchbox and I could smell the aroma of chocolate coming from within. You aren't really surprised that chocolate has magical properties, are you?

She snapped again and two tea cups appeared in her hands. She offered the one in her right to me. Being cautious where the Fae and food are concerned I took the one from her other hand by pretending the lunchbox required me to do so.

"To your success!" Helga offered.

What the hell. I clinked my cup to hers and we both drank.

The first drips had only just touched my tongue when the feeling of magic-induced slumber came over me.

God, I can be so stupid!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Oh Bo, I love the way you feather your hair."

Grumble

Stretch

Grumble again.

"Would I like to take a ride with you in the General Lee? You bet!"

Yawn

Eyes open…

Oh my God! I haven't had that dream in… I mean…wow Helga really cast an evil illusion spell on me! Yeah, one where I was fighting a…uh…giant winter owl named Bo… who was also a general…

Okay, can we please never mention this to Harry? I'm pretty sure it violates one or more of the Laws of Magic.

I sat up from the field of grass and wildflowers I was laying upon and stretched. The sun felt a bit hot, but the breeze running across the meadow made the temperature just right for a lazy day of napping.

Wait a minute, what am I doing in a field and not and ice castle?

I jumped to me feet. Well actually I tried jumping to my feet but my legs got tangled in the billowy, blue dress I was wearing and I fell right back down on my backside and in the process landing on the metal Dukes of Hazard lunchbox.

Ow!

I stood up a bit more carefully this time. I had to because for some reason I was wearing black leather shoes with buckles on them. They were the old type, not some of the more modern 'I'm pretending to be a naughty schoolgirl' ones. These were very much like the shoes Charity made me wear when I was eight, back when I was actually naughty. though not in the fun way.

Holy crap!

Buckles on my shoes…

Blue dress…

Lying in a spring meadow of grass and wildflowers that should not exist at the beginning of November?

I say again… HOLY CRAP!

I'm Alice in friggin Wonderland!

Okay…take two.

I opened my eyes this time and…

ARRRGGGG!

Why am I still dressed like Alice in Wonderland? Just what was in that tea Helga gave me?

First things first, I was pretty sure it wasn't a dream. At least it wasn't one I could wake myself up from. So either I was dealing with an exceptionally elaborate illusion, or it was a type of magic totally foreign to me. Thankfully, I was pretty proficient in illusions myself so I knew the telltale signs of what to look for.

Basic illusions are fairly simple and almost any magical being could pull them off. A good way of describing them is by using one of the old Roadrunner cartoon as an example.

Do you remember the one where the coyote paints the side of a cliff to look like there is a tunnel running through it? That is more or less what a basic illusion is like. It's usually two dimensional and is generally an image of something the observer would be expecting to see so that he or she is more likely to believe it. Or in the case of veil spells, it is covering what the observer doesn't expect to see. An average wizard can make a non-moving, human sized illusion last for about ten minutes.

Increasing the size or duration of the illusion requires increasing the amount of magic. That requires more than just an average wizard. Making a realistic illusion that is also capable of moving is harder still and therefore shortens the duration of the spell even further. Truly powerful wizards like Harry can perform these, though it takes their full concentration and only runs for a short period of time. That's why, when given a choice, Harry tends to just blast guards rather than trying to sneak past them under a veil; its less effort for him.

But a gifted sensitive wizard, like me for example, can transform an entire area into an illusion, to include adding sounds or even smells to make it all the more real. I can even make my spells adaptive so that if you were to say shoot a gun at the illusionary me, I could make it look like the bullets hit me, or that they bounced off my shield spell. Not to brag, but I can actually manage running eight to ten different illusionary people inside one of my illusions, thanks in part to the training Lea put me through.

But the key thing that illusion magic can't account for is the unexpected. The spell is only as good as the controlling mind's ability to react. The stranger the event, the harder it is to comprehend, and therefore the longer it takes the wizard to change his illusion. And once those witnessing the spell begin to see little errors or delays, the mind rejects the show and the magic fails.

I'm a master of the unexpected. Just ask my mom!

I have a rave spell that is just the bomb at parties. With it I can make any normal get together more electrifying and hip that even the coolest nightclub. The truth is I had to create this spell for myself because once my powers developed, the lights and music at those super clubs would short out soon after I arrived. Why do they always put the DJ near the bathrooms?

CD, record, and even tape players rarely lasted two songs if I got within ten feet or so. Oddly enough, eight track tapes never seemed to work better. In fact, I once witnessed an eight track tape that had unspooled magically fix itself and play better just because I passed by it to get a drink. I asked Harry about it and he explained that eight track tapes were the physical remnants of an evil curse placed on the music industry which is why they responded positively to magic and not to anyone else.

Hey, I can believe it.

Anyway, because I can make the rave spell do millions of different things including strobe lights, fireworks, and even the occasional reverb echo, no wizard could possibly anticipate the patterns I put forth. As I released the magic, the dazzling bursts of light and sound that I shot straight up in the air were comforting, especially after my earlier fail with my little flame of intimidation.

And the fact it worked told me this was no illusion around me.

I may be a bit repetitive but…

HOLY CRAP!

I'm still Alice in friggin Wonderland!

And now… take three…

Even if I can't figure out how I got here, or for that matter where 'here' is, perhaps I can figure out why I'm here.

Let's start with a fairly likely assumption that it is almost assuredly not for a good reason. You might think that since I was alive, this might mean the place was not intended to harm me. Obviously there are lots of worse places than a sunny meadow. Well, you'd be very wrong.

This was obviously Faerie magic I was caught up in. Human wizards just kill you. We don't usually have lots of time to waste a lot of energy on games like this. Sure we may live fairly long lives, but we're not immortal. Time is almost as precious for us as it is for normal people, and silly games like this just waste valuable time that could be spent on other useful pursuits. Even The Merlin would either kill me outright or capture me so I could stand trial. He wouldn't catch me and dress me up like this. At least I don't think so. Just what type of fetishes do guys his age come up with?

Anyway, other magical beings, specifically the Fomor, haven't shown me the imagination to pull off a spell like this. Yes, they definitely wanted to kill me. And sure they can be pretty damn powerful. But they use their spells to crush all opposition and enslave the survivors. They also had been hidden away for a pretty long time, so I'm not sure Alice in Wonderland would have been on their must read list upon returning.

No, it would take the patient, twisted mind of an immortal Faerie to concoct a spell trap like this for me. As a species, they were like big cats that reveled in torturing those they considered weaker and lesser than themselves. Hell, for all I know my 'adventure' was being telecast to everyone in the Winter Court as a miniseries event.

So if I use that as a reasonable baseline assumption for an otherwise unreasonable situation, then what could that tell me on how I get out of here, or better yet, turn the tables to my advantage? I am guessing the answer to that question was by not playing out this little fantasy by the spell caster's rules. I may be dressed up, but I sure as hell was not going to play.

What could I remember about Alice's adventures? It had been many years since my dad took me to see the Disney movie at an actual theater, even though by then it was available for VCRs. I should therefore remember, but instead of watching the movie, I kept staring at my dad and trying to reconcile how a man who carried a real sword for a living to cut down demons could also be such a loving father. I finally realized it was all part of God's design and I wasn't meant to understand, merely accept his love.

Anyway, back to memories of the movie. Alice follows white rabbit and then falls down a hole. Alice grows and shrinks to make it through a small door. She meets a drugged out caterpillar, or wait was that only on the Tom Petty video? She has a tea party with the Mad Hatter and others. Then there was something about a Queen of Hearts and her tarts I think.

Oh well, who cares.

Maybe you can dress me up, but you can't make me play!

First thing first; where is that silly hole? I figured as long as I stayed away from it, there was no way for the rest of this scenario to play out. I didn't immediately see it. Three of the four directions, to the front, right, and left, the meadow rand up to the edge of a woods or orchard. Behind me there was a hill that sloped upward for eight to ten feet, blocking my sight on whatever was beyond it. That made it the number one candidate for the direction to avoid.

I also realized that while Faeries may be immortal, the ones I met were rarely patient when desiring entertainment. If you have heard of the various ways they dress when trying to seduce, you probably understand that foreplay is a foreign concept to them. They only seem to be patient when revenge is involved.

If they were hoping I'd play along, they might as well be disappointed now.

"Whoever you are, you can forget about me jumping or falling into a hole." I called out, sensing nothing in response. That meant there was no one near by to feel their emotional response to my declaration. But, just to be sure. "And I sure as hell am not going to try talking to a rabbit either, so you might as well call this whole thing off."

HA! Take THAT Louis Carroll.

RUMBLE… The ground around me seemed to shake. It wasn't like a magical earthquake; thanks to my travels with Harry I'd experienced one of those. It was more like the Earth's shuddering after an explosion. Only there had been no explosion sound or the telltale signs of a cloud of dust to mark such an event.

RUMBLE… Okay that one seemed a little stronger.

I took a quick look around making sure nothing was charging me. I also looked for signs of something tunneling up, since a hole seemed to still be required, but there was no evidence of either. I did note the hill behind be had what looked like a path heading up to the top. A path meant life of some sort, which should seem comforting.

Yeah, that's just what they wanted me to think!

I turned and sprinted toward the trees on the opposite side of the meadow.

When I say sprinted, I was only talking about my intent. In addition to the dress that was not created or at all useful for track meets, I was wearing school shoes. So all I really accomplished was about three or four steps before the jolting of the hard soles against the ground sent shooting pain up the back of my legs. It was so bad that I barely noticed how the hard, shiny leather scrapped the skin off the back of my heels. Yeah, sprinting was out of the question. I could manage a brisk walk at best.

RUMBLE…

Yep, that trembling effect was definitely getting stronger.

I focused on the problem at hand, gathering up my dress to allow me to at least take longer steps without the fear of tripping. The slower pace stopped the jolting pain, but I could still feel the leather acting like sandpaper on the back of my heels with every step. I estimated I had sixty or so to reach the edge of the trees.

RUMBLE…

Since I had been looking that way, I noted whatever was causing this was strong enough to make the tops of the trees sway. It vaguely reminded me of a movie.

I took another step. Which movie? I hated when I couldn't place something like this.

Step.

Not Alice in Wonderland, that was for sure.

Step.

No it was something more recent than that.

RUMBLE…

The trees were not swaying…

They were being bent.

Something was moving through the woods ahead of me and coming closer. Something big enough to bend trees!

Jurassic Park!

That was it!

I'm talking the first one, where the people are accidentally trapped on an island full of dinosaurs, not the second or third where they go there on purpose. In my opinion, anyone who knowing goes onto an island where dinosaurs roam free gets what they deserve. It's like climbing out of your car at a safari park to take pictures of the wild animals. You might as well just ring the damn dinner bell!

Focus Molly!

Step.

So why then are you still headed toward it?

Stop.

Much better!

RUMBLE…

SNAP…

Ever break a wooden match? Yeah, that was the exact sound I just heard. Except a pine tree snapping is many times louder than a simple wooden match. And it is a bit more intimidating to witness when the top five feet or so that had been snapped off, flies over your head to crash on the ground behind you.

Hey Molly, what do you think about turning around?

Sure feet, that seems like a wonderful idea. While we are at it how about we slip off those silly shoes?

That would be great! We really have the feeling that we want to run a bit, stretch the legs so to speak.

Sure, sounds like fin. Why don't I join you?

Awesome! I love it when we can all do things like this together.

I fumbled with the buckles because the shoes were too tight to just slip off my feet without leaving them bloody; or bloodier in my case. Not that I couldn't handle the pain, but see we wizards have a thing about leaving drops of our blood behind. It makes a potentially bad situation even worse.

RUMBLE…

A quick glance as I pulled the first shoe off showed a line of trees just beyond those at the edge of the meadow were bending forward toward me. Thankfully, there was not a giant T-Rex head staring down over the top looking for a quick Molly-burger and fries.

Come on buckle number two, just let go will you!

RUMBLE…

The first line of trees bent just as my shoe came off. I knew I should run but I couldn't prevent myself from just standing there to see what I was facing. On pure instinct, or rather thanks to Lea's intense training, I called on my magic for a shield as the front line of trees snapped and sent wood chips exploding across the meadow. And behind this rain of splinters IT emerged.

And it wasn't Jurassic Park!

It was so much worse as the memories flooded through my mind.

TIM: Too late!

ARTHUR: What?

TIM: There he is!

ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit?

TIM: It is the rabbit!

ARTHUR: You silly sod! You got us all worked up!

TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.

ROBIN: You twit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

TIM: Look that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a killer!

KNIGHT: Get stuffed!

TIM: It will do you a trick, mate!

KNIGHT: Oh yeah?

ROBIN: You mangy Scot git!

TIM: I'm warning you!

ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?

TIM: He's got huge sharp… he can leap about… look at the bones!

ARTHUR: Go on, Boris. Chop his head off!

BORIS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew coming right up!

TIM: Look!

BORIS: (Screams as he is decapitated.)

ARTHUR: Jesus Christ!

ROBIN: I soiled my armor again!

TIM: I warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well it's always the same. I always warn them. But do they listen to me?

As with a long line of other similar offenses, I blame Harry for the fact that in the midst of danger to my very wellbeing, a scene from Monty Python played in my head. He actually made me watch Holy Grail as part of my wizard training, saying there were quite a few useful lessons an apprentice wizard should take note of. I'm still pretty sure he just wanted an excuse to eat popcorn and fall asleep in a movie theater. And for the next week, at every turn, all I heard was "Molly, you saw what happened to those knights that didn't listen to their wizard, so…(insert a boring, 'do what I say' task here)."

Of course, the rabbit I faced was not the dreaded Kyre Banorg.

It also wasn't one standing on his back legs holding a pocket watch and appearing in a hurry as this scenario would lead one to expect.

This was one nearly eight feet in height, and probably weighed close to a ton. It must take a truckload of carrots to feed this thing!

It also wasn't wearing human clothing, though a black patch on its otherwise white furred chest appeared to be shaped like a vest, or the top of a bikini. The lower half of its body was also black though all appendages and the head were white. Fashion aside, it looked like trouble.

Most intimidating was the three foot horn sticking out of its head like a unicorn. There was also what appeared to be part of a human shaped body still impaled on this horn. As the bunny's last hop forward ended at the edge of the meadow, what remained of the corpse swung toward the rabbit's face where the creature's teeth were able to grab on and pull the rest of the dead flesh free in order to finish its meal.

Ewwwww. Yuck!

I guess that truckload of carrots isn't required after all.

This thing was obviously a carnivore. Judging by the size it probably had to eat a lot too.

And here I was standing forty feet or so right in front of it.

Uuuummm…RUN MOLLY!

Good idea feet!

Free of the confining shoes, I was able to make much better strides. The ground didn't even hurt. That was probably because the thought of how much pain that horn would cause me made my feet feel perfectly fine with whatever they landed on in comparison.

I also called up my magic for a quick spell to help me out. I'm a wizard. It's what we do.

Remember all that I just told you about illusions? I pulled together and image in my mind released the spell with a word.

The one Molly running across the field split into two, one continuing forward toward the hill, and the other breaking away to the right. At the same time, my spell also cloaked me under a veil of invisibility so that I could turn toward the woods on my left and hopefully hide. It also allowed me to look to my left and keep track of the bunny's response.

The rabbit took a single hop forward, which easily was fifteen feet or more of distance, more than a third of what separated us, and then landed, creating that impact tremor that I had felt rumbling earlier. What was worse, upon landing the horn on the top of the beast's head flashed with an eerie silver magic. Immediately after, I felt my veil fade out, along with the other illusions of me, leaving only one Alice running across the field.

Okay, that's not good!

I started to pick up the pace a little more when it made its second leap, diagonal this time, closing the current distance between us by half. There was no way I'd make it to that line of trees without getting skewered first. It was time for plan B. If I only had a plan B.

I fired off another quick illusion, this time without the additional veil, of one of me continuing forward toward the trees while I turned toward the hill to try and get more distance between that thing and me. If nothing else I would get some valuable intelligence from this maneuver. An animal would continue after the closer target, and an intelligent and cunning creature would go the exact opposite way without an Alice, likely suspecting I was pulling the veil trick again.

It went for the illusion with its next hop.

So I was dealing with something instinctual and not overly cunning. That was good to know. It's response also allowed me to keep the beast from getting any closer with this round of moves. Unfortunately, when it landed, the silver flash erased my spell again leaving me more or less in the same predicament I was a moment ago.

With the distance of its leaps, I quickly surmised that it could easily cover more ground than I could. An image of a chess board king trying to outmaneuver a knight seems rather appropriate with the bunny's leaping about an all. So I wasn't going to escape on sheer speed alone. It was going to take me outthinking and outmaneuvering my opponent and doing so with very limited magic at my disposal.

Okay, so, let's try this.

I kept on the same course but this time only cast a veil to cover myself. I figured the creature had shown its tendency to chase what it could see, perhaps seeing nothing would confuse it.

YES, IT WORKED!

For about five steps and then that horn flashed silver again and there I was all visible once more. He immediately hopped toward me and I didn't even waste time on another spell, knowing it would only last until he landed anyway. Well the king survived another turn at least.

Now for my next move.

BOOM!

What the hell was that?

Yeah, I know you were expecting my next trick, but that sound was a distraction, thankfully for both of us.

I looked past the rabbit and to the sky to notice a thunderstorm brewing quickly, far too quickly to be normal, in the otherwise clear and sunny sky. It was also billowing directly toward us, not that this was much of a surprise. That boom was the echoing thunder after a particularly large bolt of lightning arced across the sky.

Thankfully, the sound came as a surprise to the rabbit as well, which cause him to freeze in place as rabbits tend to do, and gave me a few more precious steps of distance between us.

Normally I'd go with fire as my next spell as most animals fear flame, but with my earlier failure in this area and few chances for miscalculations that was not a good option. I decided instead to go with a spell I'd invented for my brothers and sisters; I call it snowball fight.

As the rabbit turned its attention back to me I paused long enough to aim my hand in its directions and let go with the spell. In the past it's made a perfectly packed ball of fresh snow, hard enough to sting when it struck, but not so bad as to cause any real injuries. I was hoping just the burst of pain would make the creature reconsider tonight's dinner plans, or at least keep it delayed for a few more steps.

Instead of a single projectile, this time a dozen or so flew off like a snowball machine gun. I guess, life and death battles tend to create stronger magic than just your average playful snowball fight. They each flew straight on like icy missiles homing on their target. To be fair it was a pretty big target so not a lot of homing was required.

The first three struck the rabbit's face before the horn flashed silver and dispelled the rest of the incoming salvo. I noted the horn's dispelling effect also blunted the front wave of the thunderstorm rushing our way; proof enough there was magic at work up there too.

As the rabbit shook its head at the pain I dashed further away gaining a few more steps of precious distance. Even though that was my course, I was still against getting any closer than I had to with the hill and path. That beckoning course still seemed like a bad option to me, so I veered a bit to head toward the woods to my right which would still increased the distance between me and the rabbit.

For the first time, it leapt twice in rapid succession, once more cutting me off from the possible safety in the trees and putting me within skewering range if I kept on my current course.

Okay, path it is then.

The problem was I was, even taking this option I was still within one good leap of the evil Easter Bunny. I had to come up with another distraction. And since the thunder had worked so well causing it to pause how about I try…

HOWL…

Thanks to hanging around with Harry's werewolf friends I'm pretty proficient on wolf calls. I sent this one sounding out from behind my pursuer. And while a giant, one-ton rabbit may tower over a eighty pound wolf, the mere instinctual predatory nature of a pack on the hunt was enough to strike a ingrained chord within the rabbit. It paused to spin and look at what natural adversary may be coming for it.

Of course, that stupid horn flashed silver again and cut the cries off in mid-scream, but it gave me a few more precious steps to just about reach what I judged to be the edge of the creature's hopping distance.

CRACK!

BOOM!

The bolt of lightning exploded ten feet or so behind me on the path. This sent a shower of dirt and grass, along with one very shaken Alice in Wonderland, lookalike, flying through the air to crash on the ground. I rolled to my back noting the storm was still not even above me yet, but that had obviously not stopped the lightning from reaching for me.

A second bolt flashed down toward me but it was blocked out as the rabbit's latest hop landed the creature less than five feet away from me. Its flashing horn reacted with the lightning, stopping or redirecting the bolt before it struck me. But while the lightning was magical, the thunder was merely a natural reaction as air refilled the vacuum the bolt had left behind so the horn had no effect upon it.

BOOM!

The sound of explosion so close to the rabbit, an animal with incredible large ear, was enough to leave it obviously stunned and dazed. Even with a few additional feet and smaller ears, I felt wobbly too. But Lea's training kicked in and I rolled awkwardly to my feet and kept climbing the last distance to the summit of the hill. With any luck…

Yeah, you know that hole I was trying to avoid? Found it.

And it wasn't some cute little rabbit hole.

It was more like a cliff looking over a bottomless pit that was easily twenty feet or more across. No way I was going to be jumping over that. I looked to the left and right, but neither of those provided me with an option of how to get around the hole easily either.

Maybe if the rabbit was still stunned I could race past it and make it to the trees before the storm hit?

I turned and looked as that plan wilted away before my eyes.

The rabbit was still under the effects of the thunder. In fact, it seemed so dazed that its horn was not even flashing any longer. That might be good for my spells, except it also meant the storm could now come at me without any resistance.

And with this new surge of power, it was no longer content with just bolts of lightning and explosions of thunder. Now instead a dark finger began to swirled downward from its midst. It was one of the most beautiful sights of nature's power I had ever witnessed. But growing up in the Midwest, I also knew just how dangerous a tornado could be even before it touched down and began ripping tress from the roots and turf from ground.

"Okay Molly, now what?" I tend to talk out loud when I'm nervous.

The wind was already whipping my dress around making it crack like a flag in a hurricane. When the top of the pine tree the rabbit had tossed over me went whipping by my face I instinctively took a step back.

Or I tried to.

That stupid dress was whipped so tight by the wind that it became tangled around my lower legs. Instead of my feet stepping back, only my upper legs and body moved sending me falling back…

…right over the cliff…

I'm not sure if it was the magic of the rabbit hole that slowed my fall, or the tornado sucking me up, but I hung suspended in mid air for a few conscious moments until the body of the still stunned one-ton bunny slammed into me, thankfully not horn first.

Then there was only black.


	4. Chapter 4

**Winter's Secret**

Chapter 4

The sensation of falling woke me just before I hit the ground. Thankfully, it felt like I impacted a large pile of mattresses and blankets instead, so for once it didn't hurt nearly as bad as it could have. I took a moment to just lay there and rest with my eyes closed so that my pain centers could catch up. Surprisingly, there was no delayed feeling of injury, no dislocated joints, or the chill of blood seeping from a wound. Considering all I'd just been through, that in itself was pretty remarkable. Now, if I can just build on that success and hopefully get myself out of whatever twisted storybook situation I'd been trapped in.

I opened my eyes to look around.

I'll admit I was half expecting to be at the bottom of the rabbit hole and see a round room with lots of doors.

Yeah, not so much.

In fact, that was not even close.

First of all I'd not landed on a convenient pile of mattresses and blankets but instead upon the same giant rabbit that had been trying to skewer me. I almost flinched as it drew another breath that demonstrated it was still alive. Then I noted the twelve inch eye staring back at me from two feet away was glassy and the pupil was dilated. It seems bunny had not landed nearly as softly as I had.

You understand if that didn't bother me.

I carefully tried to sit up, which made me inadvertently bobsled down the creature's belly. I only just got my feet under me in time to prevent myself from landing on my backside. That was good because once I was standing up I noted that I was nearly surrounded by a crowd of a hundred or more people staring at me with even wider eyes filled with surprise than what I had.

The tallest of the crowd rose up only to my thighs, most only my knees, and all of them were dressed like they had just come from Oktoberfest, with lederhosen, bib overalls and pointy hats of green, brown, and red. The men had bushy beards, women tied up hair braids, and the overly pudgy children rosy cheeks while still clinging to their parents' legs. I could feel that all were absolutely apprehensive at my appearance. Had I done anything even as remotely aggressive as just saying 'boo,' I'd have sent them all scurrying for cover.

On the bright side I was familiar with these type of fairy folk as Harry had once introduced me to a family of them working in a mall in Chicago repairing shoes. Mythology had dozens of names for their kind; brownie, gnome, even leprechaun, depending on what country you were in. I knew they were simply one of the small races of the Seelie Court that had a generally positive view on humans. They also often provided unseen assistance, such as repairing their shoes, cleaning houses, or keeping other more mischievous and malevolent spirits away from human families undeserving of such visitors. Though small, these clans could be downright dangerous if cornered. I had no intentions of doing so.

In fact, if I asked nicely, I could probably get them to point me in the direction of a safe portal to get home since these folk travelled back and forth between the realms on a fairly regular basis. So time to try a skill I so rarely get the chance to as a wizard; namely being friendly and polite to magical beings.

"Hello, my name is Molly."

I sensed my words put the entire crowd on edge but since 'boo' had not been uttered, and I'd not released any magical spell, they held fast.

"Be you a witch?" An elderly looking lady with grey braids asked while the man at her side, I assumed him to be her husband, barely kept his mouth closed tight enough to not drop the long stemmed smoking pipe sticking out of it.

The title of 'witch' tends to have a fairly negative connotation for wizards, especially we female ones. That was often a label we were branded with during trails by normal people to justify burning us at the stake. It's also carried a rather negative term of reference in the Bible. I tried to avoid associating myself with it for these very reasons whenever possible.

"I'm a wizard." I gently corrected the elderly woman, but added a smile to try and not seem offended.

I sensed a surge of tension at my announcement, but again because I had made no hostile gestures the mob did not flee. Instead a burst of mumbling broke out among the crowd. The dozens of different conversations in such hushed tones made it impossible for me to hear any one of them completely. The best I could do was catch a word or phrase here and there.

"…killed her…"

"…help…"

"…doesn't even wear shoes…"

"…wizard knows…"

"…that was my sandwich…"

"…who'd wear a dress like that?"

"…smells like carrots…"

"…what type of reward is proper for killing…"

"…better call him just in case she…"

The last came from the older woman with the gray braids as she spoke to her husband. Whatever she had said, he seemed to reluctantly agree with as he closed his mouth and nodded his head, making the long pipe bob up and down before me.

I stayed patiently still to get a better sense of where I was, and, if truth be told, locate the most likely avenue of escape if the need arose just as Harry had taught me. Ever notice how often the need seemed to arose… uuhhh… arise? Metaphorically, in the garden that was my life, these 'needs' were the dandelions. They tended to pop up over night and ruined the peacefully beauty and balance I was going for. And they inevitably flung off seeds to create even more trouble down the road.

I looked around and confirmed that I obviously wasn't down at the bottom of a rabbit hole or at the base of the canyon either. I was standing in the middle of a small village that was obviously home to this crowd. It didn't seem touched by rain recently, much less a tornado. And while the residents were short, don't picture their homes as hobbit holes. These were real houses, only sized appropriately to their owners. So for the first time in my life I sort of knew what Godzilla felt like.

The brownies began to chant a rhyme that seemed infused with a trace of magic, but certainly wasn't a hostile spell. They also were all concentrating not on me, but rather at a point on the ground near my feet. I looked there and noted a magical rose plant push itself up out of the dirt and over the space of a few heartbeats grow into a bush two feet around that made me take a bit of a step back and press deeper into the unconscious rabbit's belly. The chanting ten grew more urgent and the stems of the bush budded and then flowered into roses in mere seconds; some of the most beautiful I'd ever seen.

I had the unconscious desire to bend over and see if they smelled as good; in part to honor the ancient wisdom of smelling the roses. But just as I began lowering myself, the plant burst in a red shower of flower petals that flew upward, then magically came together. When this cleared, instead of the bush a red-haired male elf wearing nothing but a snicker stood, and he seemed not at all embarrassed.

I was pretty sure my cheeks immediately gave his hair a run for his money on color. The brownies, however, seemed unfazed by his couture, or lack thereof, and burst into rapid gibberish until he held his hand up for silence and turned to me

"Greetings, Molly Carpenter." He had a coldly polite tone but one that spoke of power and authority. "The villagers of Tupylil have begged me to ask you, on their behalf, if they mean them harm or demand payment for services rendered."

I sensed strong magic in this elf and knew with certainty he was a noble of the Summer Court. His emotions did not read as outright hostile, but more like cautiously wary as he watched me for any signs of danger.

For their part, the Brownies seemed emboldened by the elf lord's presence. Their emotions spoke that they still had their suspicions about me, but now their resolve to see this encounter through had been steeled.

An oddly new small voice inside of me wondered if I could take him; that is if the situation called for it. But that fleeting thought did not linger long, though his eyebrow did rise a bit as if sensing an unspoken challenge.

"I mean no one in this land harm." I tried to sound cordial and polite to rest their fears. If I wanted to ask for their help finding a path home, making enemies would not advance that cause.

"I take it you obviously mean to offer no one else harm."

"What do you mean? I haven't harmed anyone here."

The elf looked skeptically at me. "So we are to believe you rode you your Al Miraj beast into this land and rescued my charges from the attacking hag, not as some protective knight, by rather by purest accident? You are not therefore seeking a reward for your service then?"

"Wait." I was confused. I know it's not an odd state of mind for me but still. I pushed away from the rabbit and found my balance to show my separation from the creature he was referring to. "Rode my what? And rescued who from what?"

The elf continued to stare at me as if looking for deception. "You deny riding this foul beast into this land, even though the crowd observed you on its back?"

"Watch who you are calling foul, Tulip!" The strong and menacing female voice came from behind me, startling and nearly sending me stumbling into the completely naked elf before me. Yeah that would have been awkward on what not to touch to keep from falling.

I spun around to observe the speaker only to catch the last moments of the giant rabbit's transformation into an Unseelie woman slightly taller in height than me. She too was naked, though the black patches of hair I noted on the giant bunny now formed strands of dark hair that served her for both propriety and modesty sake. "At least I do not smell as if I'd bathed in the bathroom of a pleasure house."

Her transformation revealed yet another body of what I assumed to be the remains of the aforementioned 'hag' still lying where she'd been crushed by our arrival. Hags were a rather nasty type of spirit that always took the form of a beautiful woman, for the purpose of causing evil, or breeding with men and afterwards devouring their flesh. Based on her slinky red dress and black shoes with red heels, I'm guessing she was working on the latter. By the way, the true villain in the Hansel and Gretel myth was a green hag, the same variety as the one lying here. I knew from my studies there were also sea hags and other types too, all of which I'd successfully avoided, well until now.

"No you smell only of rutting and rancid meat." The elf seemed offended but disgust was not what I sensed.

The rabbit girl slid around me and reached out to grasp the elf's… uuummm…attention. "You wouldn't want to deny a bunny what comes natural to her now would you?"

Whoa there you two!

"I would." I said causing the rabbit girl to tense up and beam a cold stare at me. The elf might have done the same too except bunny girl's grip tightened and that gave him something completely different to wince and focus on. I kept my eyes up above his chest level.

"You mentioned I was due a reward, correct?" He nodded though his lips seemed strained. "I need a portal back to Chicago, if possible, or at least the Midwest."

He looked me over. "I know of such a place but the walk to get there will be long and dangerous. You will never get there barefoot as you are." I looked down noting that I'd lost my buckle shoes. No big loss cause they hurt like hell, but a long walk barefoot would likely be painful as well.

The elf called up a spell before I even registered the magic. Instead of striking me it flew to the remains of the hag and transferred her shoes to my feet while the elf finished. "The portal should return you to a place called Kansas. I have heard that is near where you desire to be."

Wait!

Kansas…

Red heel shoes…

Green wench killed…

Bunch of little folk…

Carried by a tornado?

Come on! There is no way this could be happening to me again.

Yep. First someone sick and twisted dressed me up as Alice in Wonderland. Now I'm standing here as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. If I didn't know I was already pretty much crazy, I'd think I'd completely lost it.

"What is going on here?" My eyes went from the elf to the rabbit and back.

They were, however, 'distracted' by their own private conversation. I guess the standards of propriety were a little less strict in Nevernever, for not only did neither of them seem overly concerned by their performance, none of the hundred or so Brownies did either. The little folk just kept standing around gossiping in dozens of conversations I could not follow.

"I'd say that is a fine looking…"

"Of course I'd like your mother to visit…"

"…with ties to both Summer and Winter…"

"…yes, Air Jordans in fact…"

"…flaming monkey poo…"

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"

Wait a minute. If I was Dorothy now and wearing the red heeled shoes, then that should mean…

I clicked the heels together. "There is no place like home."

I clicked them harder a second time. "There is no place like home." I called out louder as I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

I clicked and ground the heels together a third time to complete the spell. "There is no place like home!" I yelled aloud.

Upon completing my third chant there was nothing but silence surrounding me. I smiled at my success and opened my eyes.

Yep, I opened them only to find about a hundred and two pairs of Fae eyes staring right back at me with mixed looks of confusion, panic, and horror. Well this certainly wasn't Kansas. I hadn't even moved from where I'd been standing.

Stupid magical shoes! This is why none of the White Council specialized in footwear magic!

"It must be a wonderful place for you to make such a vigorous claim." The naked elf said as he pulled himself away from the rabbit. Her equally confused, and slightly annoyed, look explained that I'd ruined the mood. But it was the angry Brownies, especially the pipe smoking elder that my senses were now warning me were the most dangerous.

"Those are a fifteen hundred dollar pair of Willetta Spiked Red Sole Booties by Christian Louboutin." He said with a strong sense of alarm. "Why are you grinding the leather together like that? Do you want to ruin them with scuff marks?" The last part had a tone similar to someone asking if I planned to murder children or skin puppies.

"I was trying to unlock their magic."

The looks of horror only deepened. This time it was his wife who spoke again to me. "Surely human girls have not forgotten the power of the shoe?" Oh God, I'd knocked over their national monument and burned their flag all in one fell swoop! "You must know how a proper pair of trainers will entice a lazy man to chase you while a strong leather boot with a six inch spike heel will make even the bravest warrior cower." Yeah, they took their shoes serious.

"I am sorry goodwife." I apologized to try and calm the situation. "My master, Harry Dresden, taught me to respect such things, but in my current state of concern I forgot my teachings."

She looked me over as her husband squinted through his pipe smoke at me, trying to decide if I was being honest. I help that along with some subtle magical suggestions to forgive and this barely tipped the scales away from murder and down to business.

"Well, take a seat and explain to us your dilemma while my husband Otto undoes the damage you have done." Her words were just shy of a command, and while I could have ignored her, it wasn't worth the long-term effects of alienating otherwise relatively harmless Fae. You never knew when you would need their help, or the help of one of their friends that had heard all about you. Being polite to the little folk was a good rule to follow.

I sat Indian style on the ground and made sure my billowy dress was situated properly before reaching to take off the shoes. Up close I could see their detail much more clearly. They were indeed high quality leather, but they also had rows of small, spiky knobs that gave the shoes a rather distinct 'don't mess with me' character. Thankfully, I hadn't done any serious damage to the shoes with my Dorothy impression, merely dulled the polish a bit.

I tried to take them off but, not surprisingly, they seemed magically attached, just like in the movie. I shrugged a silent apology to the elderly Brownie as he sat down by my feet with a small brush, polish, and a fine cloth that seemingly appeared out of nowhere and began to repair their shine. I then turned to the matron who, along with another hundred or so pairs of ears, waited patiently for me to explain my situation.

"I'm not exactly sure how I got here." I said honestly. "Not long ago I woke up in a field dressed in these clothes that are surely not my style. And when I tried to leave, psycho rabbit chick there tried to skewer me." I pointed accusingly to indecent bunny lady.

She took my pointing and accusation calmly. "You skipped over the part where you sent your manservant to try and kill me. Unfortunately, like my distracted Tulip now, he was not up to the task."

Double entendre much? So not going there!

"For your information, I don't have a manservant…"

"Not any more you don't!" She smiled as she interrupted.

"…and I have no idea who you are so therefore I had reason to kill you…"

"Except for your jealousy of my beauty." She interrupted again.

"…though you're starting to give me one." I smiled back.

She was not intimidated. "All I know is he claimed his powerful mistress sent him to slay me and bring my horn to the meadow so she might use it to cast a spell. He failed, and I went there instead to find out who wanted me dead and found only you."

Fae could not lie, but they could deceive with words and actions, or be deceived as well. It seems whoever was playing a game with me had done so with the rabbit as well.

"Then it appears someone wanted one or the other of us dead." I reasoned.

"Obviously you." She agreed dismissively. "And we can assume that whoever it was also sent the tornado."

I thought about that for a second. That part didn't make sense. The servant who had drugged me was Winter Fae, so if not the one behind it, she likely served the one who was. That would mean the troublemaker was Winter Fae too, most likely. Even the rabbit chick was Winter Fae. There was a strong connection in these three points.

But there are not a whole lot of winter tornados. Winter had blizzards, and arctic winds of hurricane force, but not tornados. Such things are exclusively summer, or at least warm weather, events. That strongly suggested the power at work originated in the Summer Court. And the fact I was sitting in a Summer brownie village supported this as well.

I looked to the elf. "Since we were carried here by a tornado, did you have something to do with all this?" I watched his face, but mostly his emotions for any signs of deception.

"My powers lie in the area of growing things, not weather." That was true. "But, since the death of the Summer Lady Lily, magic in our realm has been a bit more unpredictable. That could be the cause of your tornado. If that is so, for the sake of my plants and charges I hope the new one comes fully into her power soon."

Ok, so Sarissa was facing the same problem as me it seems. That made sense as the two courts were very similar. I wonder if she had to uncover a secret as well, and if so, would it be the same as mine? That was something to consider when I was in more familiar territory.

But just to be certain. "So, you are not responsible for me being in this Wizard of Oz fantasy, correct?" And just to be safe. "And if not you, you also don't know who dragged me into nut house?"

My accusation left only shocked silence in its wake. That shocked silence soon turned to uncomfortable quiet and stares. Then it became really awkward judgmental calm. I'm sorry to admit that I turned away first.

"No, I am not responsible for your arrival, nor is anyone whom I am familiar with." The elf replied coldly, which is pretty impressive for a Summer Fae. "I will be extremely pleased to assist with your immediate departure from this actually quite pleasant village." Not a lot of subtle there.

The brownies were not nearly as reserved, though they chose not to speak directly to me.

"Wow, is she rude or insane?"

"I think the human term is ditzy."

"I thought that meant glamorous."

"You're thinking of ritzy."

"Oh yeah, I like that song."

"Your shoes are repaired." Otto said without a smile of satisfaction at his work. "Now how about you use them to clear out of here?"

I looked down to see the polished shine made the leather look almost like sparkling ru…I mean diamonds, yeah red diamonds. No rubies to see here. Nope, nothing here at all to see. So how about you just keep walking.

Speaking of which….

"Yeah, you should really clear out of here." Another voice added to the chorus. I guess my nut house comment was not found to be endearing.

"Alright so how do I get to this portal back to Kansas?" I tried to ignore the brownies as they continued to chatter and their anger started to smolder louder to my senses.

"The Ritz song?" The original pair engaged in conversation continued while the chant for me to clear out grew in number and volume. "Yes, I remember that one."

"I thought that Ritz was a cracker."

The elf ignored the brownies as well, but the rabbit chick had a wicked smile on her face as if she was enjoying all of this. "I will lead you to your destination." He said in a tone that meant this was not up for debate. "We must pass through dangerous lands and to tell the truth, based on your personality, I am not sure you will survive without aid."

The way the crowd was turning I was not sure I'd survive if I stayed either. Scuff one expensive pair of shoes and use the word nut house and suddenly everybody is thin skinned.

"No, I was talking o the ditz song."

"Clear off! Clear off!" The chant was taking hold in the back of the crowd but getting closer with each repetition.

"I am coming with you as well." The rabbit girl smiled as she enjoyed the show. "I've not been this entertained in years."

Glad I could help.

"I don't remember the ditz song."

"CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF!"

"Follow me." The elf ordered and the crowd of hostile brewing brownies made a gap for him to pass down the brick road.

And, no it wasn't yellow, for those of you who were curious.

It was friggin gold!

Obviously, this is what brownies did with their payment for services rendered. They used it for public works projects; literally!

I followed quickly in the elf's wake with bunny girl bumping up behind me as the gap of angry brownies closed after us.

"CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF!"

"Are they actually going to attack us?" The bunny asked in an amused tone.

I hoped not. I could probably defend myself but the idea of hurting these little folk, even in self defense, did not sit well with me.

"No. It's going to be something much worse." The elf replied as he tried to pick up the pace. I followed calling up some magic to use as a shield.

"What is worse?" She inquired. It seems rabbits have the same curiosity as cats.

"They are going to sing."

"CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF!"

What? Now it was my turn. "Wait, did you say they are going to sing?" Now I was confused, but the concern nearing panic in the elf's emotions was undeniable.

"Yes." He nodded at me over his shoulder as we broke through the crowd and began hurrying down the golden brick pathway. "Brownies can't carry a tune to save their lives, but they still love to sing. It's absolutely horrible to behold!"

Not surprisingly music began to float through the air originating from nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

It was a familiar tune.

OH GOD!

NO!

"_Clear off you crazy wizard, the pretty young wizard is odd._

_We hear she is a ditz of a wiz, if ever a ditz there was._

_If ever, oh ever a ditz there was, this pretty young wizard is one because_

_Because, because, because, because, because_

_Because of the ridiculous things she does_

_Clear off you crazy wizard, you ditzy young wizard who's odd…."_

ARRRGGGG! I'm never going to get that song out of my head!

I seriously need a brain bleach spell!

"…_you ditzy young wizard who's odd…."_

Help me please!

I was serious in my begging.

Someone!

Isn't there anyone who could help me?

There was a burst of cold magic, and in a swirl of snow and ice my red leather slippers were no longer standing upon the gold path. Instead I was standing on the side of an ice covered mountain.

I had forgotten about my ability to transport to places of winter cold and ice.

Obviously it worked.

But more shockingly was the large menacing stone fortress that rose right before my eyes. It had that serious 'stay away, bad things happen within' vibe. The storm brewing in the skies above seemed even worse.

Deep down I knew I shouldn't but after the song and all I couldn't stop it from coming out.

"Oh Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Winter's Secret**

Chapter 5

"Eth Alth'eban."

Even I was confused at how much this building resembled that place I'd only read of.

"Really?" I called aloud. "You built the fortress home of the League of Assassins?" First it was fairy tale stories and now comic books? What the hell was going on here? The transportation spell left me a bit nauseous but I didn't think I was hallucinating.

I know I'm not what most people would think of as the average comic book reader. But when you have limited electronic options for entertainment, comic books and paperbacks becomes a staple to keep your sanity. Add to that the fact that Butters probably had the most extensive comic collection in all of Chicago and you can see why reading comics made up the vast majority of the few enjoyable hours I'd spent when Harry was gone.

This brought me back to Ra's Al Ghul's home and office standing before me. The place was home to hundreds of the deadliest killers in the world.

My options were either entering the fortress and dealing with whatever lay inside, or trying to scale my way down a mountain of snow and ice, in the face of what appeared to be a building storm, and with night falling. I'm not sure I could physically freeze to death any longer, but it wasn't a bet I was willing to try and lose. I also was not keen on trying another teleportation so soon. It's not safe playing with magic I didn't understand. Well, the choice of one option is really no choice.

I walked forward and reached the door but came to an abrupt halt. I could feel that there was a powerful threshold before me. That was bad because it mean if I wasn't invited in, I'd leave about ninety percent of my power outside. Harry may be able to fight with only ten percent of his, but that limitation in the face of combat was surely a death sentence for me.

I could try just sneaking around once inside. My veils were very good and if I only covered just me, they were not very hard or magically draining to maintain. But I had to think a place that trained people to be invisible, likely had some sort of defense or warning system for this type of thing.

My only other choice was to openly seek an audience as a means to ask the owner for entrance. That wasn't a thrilling prospect, but if this place held true to the comics, merely making it here made me worthy of an audience with the head of the League.

I raised my hand to knock, but as my knuckles moved toward the ironwood door, the power of the threshold, which I could magically sense as easily as if I were looking at it, parted before my hand. I was only just able to stop my knuckles before they struck the wood.

What the hell? That type of gap in magical power was not supposed to happen.

Could the owner have pulled the threshold back? I never heard of such a thing being possible. Even when invited in, the threshold barrier didn't part as much as allow a wizard to join with it and be protected while inside. What I saw here was nothing like that.

I pulled my hand back and the magical power of the threshold rushed back filling in the magical gap and restoring the warding barrier that was easily equal in strength as the ancient fortress's stone walls.

I say again; what the hell? Was it some sort of spell?

I fine tuned my magical senses even further but found no trace of any spell cast to open a gap, if such a thing were even possible, or for that matter any other spells at all cast on the door. All I sensed was just natural threshold power; very strong threshold power, which spoke of people who had called this place home for a very long time.

I moved my hand forward and again the power parted before me. There was no sensation of resistance being offered, which is what I should normally be feeling. For those who never experienced, my hand should have felt like it was pushing through a pool of creamy peanut butter and tearing away my magic. But instead, my fingers reached the handle of the door and opened it as the power across the portal receded to make way for my passage. I stepped inside, not even feel so much magical resistance as the slight breaking sensation you get walking through a strand of spider web.

Odd, but convenient for my purposes.

Maybe this was normal for this place. Perhaps the League of Assassins thought they were so tough that they wanted their enemies to come inside fully armed. I wasn't going to complain, but that meant they were probably ready for just about anything to include wizards. Of course this was all still based on the assumption I was truly dealing with the League.

So let's start with something subtle so not to trip of any alarms, just in case. I focused my sensory attentions and sought out any presence of magic traps or alarms, and at the same time any sign of emotions which would let me know if something living, or even undead, was about.

I got nothing.

God, this was as bad as when Harry ran gaming days.

"Hey Butters, my thief reports it's all clear. How about you put your big muscular barbarian up in front of me now?" God, I would so prefer to be sitting around his table right now with my friends.

While the outer walls were obviously built for a strong defense, the inside of the building seemed to be a maze of rooms and corridors. The furnishing in most were sparse, to the point of barely being worthy of the term furniture at all.

Many of the first rooms were small cells, like what monks would sleep in, and only contained a straw mat. There wasn't any lingering evidence that these were even in use, except for being generally fee of dust.

Beyond the cells there was what passed for bathrooms, rather large community facilities completely barren of privacy. Based solely on this arrangement, I decided right then and there, that wizard apprenticeships had more to offer, even with Harry as a master, than an assassin-monk's life here.

Those dormitory facilities gave way to an open courtyard housing all sorts of weapons, from ancient to modern, and many of which I could not identify. Another sensory sweep from emotions told me it too was deserted. Not that I was complaining about not facing off against an army, but by this point I'd like to know for sure who or what lived here.

There was a second, even larger, indoor structure beyond the training yard that might hold those answer, but since I was here, I figured it wouldn't hurt to check out the weapons and see if there was anything I'd feel comfortable enough to take with me. Whoever dressed me up like Alice or Dorothy was skimpy on the self-protection aspects.

I wandered right past the more ancient weapons as they did not suit my current needs, there was a nine foot maul that looked like it weighed a ton, and to ones from my time. A set of racks on one wall seemed to hold every type of firearm conceivable, especially automatic weapons, up to an including an electric minigun on a strap like the one the former Governor of California carried in a movie, or was it the former Governor of Minnesota?. Having been on the receiving end of one of those I knew its potential for destruction. Had the weight alone not been enough of a deterrent, I was sure my magical abilities would cause it to jam just when I needed it most. For that reason I skipped past all of the automatics.

What I found instead was incredible.

It was a pair of drillings, guns that had two shotgun barrels side by side and a rifled barrel underneath. Basically, a gun that could fire three rounds at the same time.

While drillings were very rare, the fact that these two had the barrels cut down to a foot or so in length and the stocks replaced with pistol grips made for a pair of incredibly unique weapons that I instantly had a fondness for. They even came with two belted holsters that tied on both thighs. That would not do with the dress I was wearing, but I planned to change that the first chance I got as well.

The ammunition for these weapons was stored in a fireproof locker right beside. A quick examination of this gave me pause. Instead of copper slugs or pellets, these were made from iron, silver, magnesium, or a combination of all three. Apart from being incredibly expensive and hand loaded, it also showed the owners were well versed in battling mystical enemies.

I commandeered a few ammo pouches from the automatic weapons area and filled them with a combination of twelve gauge shotgun and twenty-two caliber rifle rounds. I then loaded the weapons with a mixture of types and secured them in the holster and belted it on, accepting that the leg tie downs would just have to swing free until I found better clothes.

Okay, that made me feel a little better. Now, if I can just find some clothes that do not scream Disney movie I'd be set.

There was a main double doorway to the next build along with two smaller doors, which after investigation, turned out to be just storage rooms for other weapons. So it seemed he main doors would have to be my choice.

Another quick scan told me the doors of the inner building were also not warded. That made it easy to enter, but another indication that the residents weren't particularly afraid of potential visitors.

Once I was inside I let my senses free again searching for signs of magic or emotions. There was none of the former, and the only ones of the latter I could sense were still deeper inside the building. I could tell there was more than one being in residence, and that the emotions being emitted were a mixture of conflict and enjoyment; probably a perfect combination for people whose job was killing others.

Since there was nothing to be gained by delaying the encounter any further, I used the emotions as a beacon to home in on the local residents. I also drew in magic and kept my hands near my newly acquired weapons, so that I could respond accordingly to whatever situation presented itself.

The hallways I passed through changed from sparsely decorated to much more elaborate or even what I would call outright expensive. There were what appeared to be small Greek or Roman era statues on pedestals, beside what looked to be old Chinese vases.

Another room was filled with stuffed animals, including what may have been an actual dodo bird. It also had racks of antlers and teeth mounted on the walls. One set of horns was nearly twelve feet across and would make even the biggest water buffalo jealous with horn envy. Yeah, size matters to them.

One wall displayed an old medieval shield painted with an almost lifelike representation of what I assumed was Medusa because of the wavy snake hair. I have to admit it seriously creeped me out the way the eyes seemed to follow me. In fact, I even went so far as to use my wizard senses to make sure it was neither magical, nor one of those Scooby Doo paintings with the false eyes and someone hiding behind it.

One room I passed by nearly glowed yellow from all the wall decorations. The painting had the telltale building with onion tops that I took to be Russia. The room also had a glass display rack that held a collection of what had to be Faberge eggs. I did not even want to know how much the various items in this room cost.

I focused once more on the emotions I was feeling and sensed they were getting stronger. I could even hear the sound of what I took to be combat originating from behind a door at the end of my hallway. I crept up to it, I was sure that there were still only two beings beyond.

Well at least it is not an army of assassins.

I pried the door open a bit so I could hear a bit better.

"Do you bleed?" A deep, gravelly, male tone asked, though it seemed as if the speaker was purposely trying to disguise his voice. "You're going to."

"Wait, I do not understand who I am and why I am here."

"What is to understand?" The deeper voice softened but seemed a bit perturbed. "You are the last survivor of your race from a distant planet…"

"I thought you said I had a cousin."

"Okay, last except for her…"

"And didn't that movie say there was a bunch more of my people in the poltergeist zone?"

"It's called the Phantom Zone. And yes there are more there, but those are criminals. They don't really count." The first explained. "So you are the last survivor who is not a criminal…"

"Except for my cousin…"

"Yes, except for your cousin…"

"And don't I have a dog from my planet too?"

"Well yes, but dogs don't count…"

"Well if the dog were a werewolf would it count then?"

"It's not a werewolf so the question is stupid…"

"Don't I always tell you there is no such thing as a stupid question?"

"Yes you do." The voice was not past perturbed and up to irritated. "And now you just proved yourself incorrect."

"Do not be rude!" The second voice scolded. "It is not my fault the stories in these books make no sense." I could hear pages being turned quickly.

"Sure they do, you just have to…"

"Is this a Kryptonian city in a bottle?

"Oh yes, that is the capital city of Kandor." The first answered. "It was shrunken and placed in a bottle for safe keeping."

"And there are people there?"

"Yeah, about six million or so..."

"Wait, now I am confused."

"What?"

"I thought I am the sole survivor."

"You are.

"Except for these six million."

"Well, yeah…but they were shrunk."

"And the hundreds in the Poltergeist Zone…"

"Phantom Zone." The first corrected again. "And those don't count because they are criminals."

"And my dog."

"Doesn't count. It's a dog."

"And my cousin."

"Well, yeah, but she doesn't count…"

"So I'm really the sole survivor because I don't count anyone else?" The second asked. "Doesn't that see a bit megalomaniacal?"

"Just forget it!" The first was not angry. "I won't ever ask you to play with me again."

"No, the next time you ask me to play a game, just let me be the character I choose."

"Oh come on, you're not still mad that I wouldn't let you dress up like Wonder Woman are you?"

"That Wonder Woman is a trained warrior, just as I am." The second explained. "She comes from a tribe of great warriors, just like I do. It was the perfect choice for me."

"No it wasn't." The first voice was now was going from low to nearly screeching. "The movie is called Batman vs. Superman. You can't change the name of the movie just because you want to dress up like Wonder Woman."

That image that popped in my head that came with recognition of the pair of voices was too much even for me. I pushed open the door and the two occupants ready for all out battle turned to look at me with widening eyes of surprise.

The closer of the two was an elderly looking man with a bald head. Instead of the monk's robes he normally wore, my friend Hisha was currently in a rather poorly made Superman costume that seemed to be bulging a bit too much around the waist. Somehow the 'S' on his chest had also printed out backwards ruining the image even more.

But, if a short, bald, Superman was not shocking enough to behold, the nearly nine foot tall troll in what had to be a custom-made, expensive, and apparently fully functional batsuit that even Christian Bale would have to envy was even more alarming. Lord Kline, his name a play on his size, much like Little John, was even more shocked; staring at me open mouthed while small rivulets of saliva pooled on the floor by his feet.

"Hey guys, am I interrupting?"

The troll's face was the first to turn from shock to smile; a rather disturbing image if I didn't know he was friendly. "She's hereeeee!"

"See, you proved it! "I knew it was Poltergeist…" The monk said then rushed past the troll and swept me up in his arms and gave me a hug that even Lord Kline would have had trouble matching.

"MOLLY!" The pair called out in sync, the happiness in their transmitted emotions was nearly overwhelming to me. I don't get that a lot from people outside my family, and these two let it flow freely. I blame that for why my eyes teared up on me.

"I missed you guys!" I said hugging Hisha back before the 'Batman' gathered up both of us in his big arms and lifted us gently from the ground. Lord Kline may look like an intimidating troll, but his heart was filled with more kindness and compassion than almost anyone I knew.

He looked closer then put us down after a moment. I sensed embarrassment in him.

"Oh Molly, I am sorry. I did not mean to wrinkle that…ummm…lovely dress." He also was willing to lie so not to hurt my feelings. "I've never seen you wear something…so…"

"Ridiculous?" I finished.

"Well I'd have gone with words like traditionally feminine, but yours works." The troll replied. Most people do not consider trolls to be up on fashion but Lord Kline was the obvious exception.

"I don't suppose you would happen to have anything I could wear?" I said twirling to make sure he understood how poor a choice this was for me; not just in appearance, but in functionality too. The pair knew I was a bit more rough and ready than this getup afforded.

"You can have one of my spare robes." Hisha offered politely.

"Be gone Philistine!" The troll answered him. "Molly would never wear such rags."

"What do you mean? I have never been to the City of Brotherly Love, much less be considered a resident." The monk cocked his head.

"That's Philadelphia."

Hisha offered the troll a confused look but when the nine foot monster closed his eyes and shook his head, the bald man turned quickly to me and offered a wink.

They were an interesting pair. If television producers ever decided to revive The Odd Couple, I was going to send them here first. The material they would gain would easily be worth the trip.

"Do we still have that stash of blue leather?" The troll asked Hisha.

"Blue leather?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Yes, that fool of a troll decided he wanted to pretend to be the American folk hero Paul Bunyan." Hisha explained. "He even made me sneak up on a giant Bull of Inde while it slept and dye its coat dark blue so he could have his fabled Babe at his side."

I remembered some vague reference to a Bull of Inde in Harry's lesson books. From what I recalled, they were massive beasts, meaner than even the worst tempered rodeo steer. They also had horns that could rotate so that the pointy end always aimed at its target.

"The beast did not enjoy playing with us and instead turned its horns upon itself rather that submit to our capture so we might remove the dye."

"I am guilt ridden by its extreme action." The troll admitted and I could feel actual regret over the beast death in his emotions. "We took the blue hide so not to waste it and mounted his horns in the trophy room." I was pretty sure he was referring to the twelve foot rack I had observed earlier. "Since then, I spend months tanning and softening the leather. I'm sure it will be perfect for you, both in durability and color."

"You expect her to wear just the hide of a cow like a moo moo?" There was a pun in there but he had not really intended it. Out of politeness I tried not t even smile.

"Of course I don't, you pagan." The troll answered. "I studied for ten years with the best tailors in London." He said proudly. "I will make her a fine set of clothes myself!"

"Wait, you only came about five years ago." I pointed out since I had been there at the original Lord Kline's death. The current was a regenerated clone, if that was the correct term for what a troll could do. Regardless of the correct term, the ten years of apprenticeship was impossible.

He turned to look at me straight on. "When my kind regenerates to our full height, all our memories from our previous bodies are restored." Oddly enough I sensed discomfiture in his emotions and awkwardness in his tone. "It is considered and evolutionary advantage for my race so we do not lose our hard won wisdom." Actually, for most trolls it probably only provided a memory of who killed them so they could seek revenge.

Still, it seems I had slipped into an area that broached poorly upon trollish etiquette. I guess talking about the difference between physical age and memory age was something to be avoided. But thankfully, like all such things, he brushed this off with his good nature and turned back to the subject of making clothes for me.

I tried to dissuade him from this plan but Lord Kline would not hear of it. In a mere handful of moments he had left and returned, not only with a massive midnight blue swath of supple leather, but also with a full sewing kit, foot pumped sewing machine that seemed way too small for him., and a smaller piece of white silk.

It is never wise to purposely argue with a troll so I submitted to inevitability.

Like any truly professional tailor, he took all my measurements, which I have to say was rather awkward, and then went immediately to work, without even drawing a pattern on the hide with chalk first. Instead, he pulled forth a set of shears that seemed too small for his hands and cut out various pieces, trying not to waste material.

While his hands stayed happily busy and engaged, Hisha went away and brought back two of the largest bean bag chairs I'd ever seen and motioned for me to relax while Lord Kline happily hummed in contentment. A troll humming; yet another sight I never expected to experience.

"I sense great conflict in you, child. I also can see it has been some time since you slept, or at least rested where you felt secure." Hisha said looking me over. His ability to sense emotions was as strong as my own. In fact, he'd helped me unlock some of my inner power to make me a better wizard. "Will you not tell your friends what troubles you now face? It surely cannot be any more complicated than your previous trials." He smiled in a fatherly type of way.

Wanna bet? I thought the words but did not say them aloud.

There was probably some advantage in not letting anyone know I was on a quest, and that until I succeeded, the Winter Court was down one of its strongest weapons. But, by the same token, it was very rare that I had a person, much less two, I could truly open up and explain my worries to. I had my dad, but I preferred not to bother him after everything he'd been through.

I didn't mind worrying these two. "Let's see, where to start?" I began. "Okay, well it seems I've been drafted as the new Winter Lady. This is even more awkward because Harry is the Winter Knight, which means he, more or less, works for me, which puts a really weird spin on our master and apprentice relationship."

"While I have been selected to wield the Winter Lady's mantle, I can't actually access her powers until I learn some secret that only the most powerful of the Winter Court know. Of course, Maeve is dead, and Mab is off keeping the universe safe so doesn't have time to enlighten me on this at the present." I said sarcastically. "Actually that is not completely true. From what Lea said I gather that until I figure out the secret on my own, Mab doesn't want anything to do with me."

"And if that weren't enough, I also have someone dressing me up and placing me in storybook situations." I indicated my clothes. "I'm not sure what kind of game they are up to, but I have no desire to play along." I stopped and took a deep breath looking from one to the other as they stared in shock. Se guys it CAN be worse!

"I believe the Romans had a comment for this type of situation." Hisha said sympathetically. "Crappy Diem."

The troll stopped his sewing and stared at the monk. "The Latin term is pronounced Capre Diem you uneducated Philistine. It means 'Seize the Day' so hardly appropriate for the situation Molly is facing."

"First, it has been many years since I visited Israel so I do not know what Palestine has to do with this discussion." He turned away from the troll and to me. "Please excuse him. It is unfortunate that the brain of my friend Lord Kline has not matured as fast as gangly body…"

"Gangly?" The troll's voice raised an octave.

The monk looked back at him. "I was trying to find a polite way of saying preposterously disproportionate as those words have far more letters than you are able to understand."

"WHAT?!"

Hisha ignored his outrage and turned back to me. "While my bulky and bulbous friend is correct about the commonly known phrase, I myself was referring to a far less known statement of 'Crappy Diem;' what a shitty day." He smiled sympathetically.

It took a moment for my mind to catch up, I was tired after all, but once I did, I burst into full laughter.

God it felt good to laugh and also get all that off my chest to a willing and knowledgeable pair of ears. In fact, putting all that out in the open made me suddenly realized how hungry I was as well. This was emphasized when my stomach growled loud enough for Lord Kline to hear it over the sounds of his sewing machine. It actually turned out to be more of a full out roar than a growl I guess.

Still bristling from losing their last verbal spar the troll was the faster to respond. "Show some manners you pagan and get Molly something to eat." He scolded his friend.

Hisha ignored him and looked at me. "You are not taking proper care of yourself. Let me provide you a meal and the promise of a good night's sleep among friends, even if one of those friends is little more than an overgrown seamstress."

"Hey! OW!" The monk's distracting words caused the troll to stick himself with a needle he was using."

See." He said to me. "Do not bleed on her new clothes." Hisha ordered him before leaving.

The troll turned back to concentrate on his work, but not before mumbling under his breath. "Just wait until I dye all your robes glow in the dark pink." His humming was soon the only sound in the room.

It was nearly ten minutes before the monk returned pushing a cart with a tea service and various fruits and breads. He also had a blanket draped over his shoulder that he shrugged off into my lap as he passed. This was a subtle order for me to getting some rest. For once, I did not feel the need to argue with someone ordering me around.

The last item on the cart was a small eighteen inch statue of Athena, or Diana as I couldn't immediately tell if it was Greek or Roman in origin. While the stature may have originally been a beautiful piece of chiseled marble, now its smooth surfaces had been gouged by a series of small magical symbols, only a few of which I recognized as wards of strengthening and protection.

It also vibrated with magical power, similar in rhythm to a heart beating.

"What is that?" I pointed to the statue.

"First things first, drink this." Hisha handed me a cup of steaming tea as he turned back to select pieces of various fruit and bread from the cart and load up a plate for me.

I brought the steaming beverage to my lips to blow upon it, expecting to only take a taste as the liquid inside as it seemed scalding. As the fine china touched my lips and I released my breath, I felt a wisp of Winter Magic flow as well, instantly cooling the tea to the perfect temperature so that upon my first taste of its cherry flavor, I did not draw back, but instead was able to drink the entire thing.

Hey, now that is a handy Winter perk!

Hisha placed a tray on my lap with the plate of food he'd selected and immediately refilled my teacup before answering my earlier question.

"This statue contains a rare being called a Spirit of Knowledge." Hisha explained making my eyes widen just a bit.

I wasn't supposed to know about Harry's friend Bob, but of course I did. Why he thought I wouldn't be able to sense something so powerful as a magical skull when I was working in his lab was sort of silly on his part. And while Bob had been given orders not to speak to me, like pretty much any male I'd ever encountered, a little bit of extra cleavage soon had him talking.

"I have heard of such things." I tried to keep a straight face.

The monk nodded and turned away from me to address the statue directly. "Roberta, if you please?" He spoke to it.

"Roberta?" I asked. "Really?"

Lord Kline answered. "The monk is too formal. Bobbi can you come out here please?"

"Wait, you have a Spirit of Knowledge named Bobbi?"

"Well only for this month." The troll answered. "Bobbi cannot dye her hair, of have a makeover like other women, so she settles for changing her name every month or so. That month she only answered to Jackie O was really annoying." He turned back to the nearly completed pair of pants in his lap.

Blue twinkling sparks illuminated in the statue's eyes that were turned to me. "All hail the new Winter Lady." She said rather formally.

"Ummm, thanks, but I'm not the Winter Lady yet."

The sparks seemed to turn to look at Hisha. "Is she truly this slow? You did explain that I am a Spirit of Knowledge, right? Has 'do not speak sarcasm become the newest Law of Magic or something?"

Wow, she really could be Bob's sister.

"Okay, you made your point."

"Ah good, so you can, in fact, learn. There seems to be a glimmer of hope for the survival of our universe after all; even with you potentially leading the armies in defense from the Outsiders."

I knew getting mad at her barbs or arguing wasn't going to get me anywhere, so I swallowed my pride and resorted to the best means to get the information I needed, flattery. "Bobbi, the problem is before I can assume my duties I have to learn something called Winter's Secret. As a Spirit of Knowledge, you wouldn't happen to know it would you?"

Her sparks turned back to me. "While I know many secrets, I'm afraid that is one I've only heard in whispers even exists. To most Fae it is a myth, a story that they tell to make the Queen's and Ladies look weak. Your question to me is the first true confirmation I have. So unfortunately, no I do not know the answer that you seek."

Wow, so much copying off the smart kid's test. I really am going to have to work for this. "Okay, would you have any advice on where I might find the answer? Is there anyone I should talk to?"

"To find the secret to Winter's power?" The spirit reminded me. "If you assume that Mother Winter, the Queen, and the Lady are the only ones who have the secret in the first place, it seems the chances of finding someone who learned it and is willing to share incredibly unlikely."

I had to agree. But what point would there be in putting out a challenge that the Queen knew was impossible? She had to want me, or someone else at least, to take up the mantle of the Lady, if for no other reason than pulling double duty would not allow Mab the time to work on other things. Therefore, the challenge merely had to be the way of proving I was worthy of all that power.

"Well Lea said she did not know the secret and she is as close to Mab as anyone." I pointed out. "Is it possible one of the other two may have shared it with someone, a lover perhaps?"

"Maeve was never close enough to anyone to trust them with any secret, much less one to her power." Bobbi reminded me. "She was too into herself. Her lovers were there for her enjoyment, not for anything like bonds of human intimacy."

"Mab has had a few lovers over the centuries, but, like your friend Harry, this is her way of selecting her new Winter Knight. From his online performance, I don't recall any moment that looked like there was time for a sharing of secrets. It all seemed pretty loud."

Yeah, I had gotten to witness it from inside Harry's head when I cleaned out his memories of ordering his suicide. I could attest to the fact that Mab had not passed any such secret to him during their bonding.

"That leaves Mother Winter." I offered hopefully.

Bobbi laughed. "Yeah, she was ancient and living with Mother Summer before I was even a glimmer of knowledge. Those two have been alone harping on each other forever. I have no doubt Mother Winter knows the secret. Whether she is lucid enough to recall it though is another story. That is if you can even get close enough to her to ask about it without her killing you just on a whim."

I yawned.

Well that didn't sound promising. But as far as leads go, Mother Winter was the only real one I had, unless I wanted to ask The Merlin, or maybe see if Bob knew the answer.

Harry could summon up demons and negotiate for answers from them. But he had warned me against ever trying such spells myself. The evil from just a Black Court vampire was almost too much for my emotional sensitivity to handle. There was no way I wanted to try being in the presence of a being of pure evil like that, especially since they tended to draw out conversations with extended negotiations.

I yawned again and wrapped myself up into the blanket for comfort. I turned to focus on the food as I tried to figure out my next step.

Lord Kline dropped the pair of leather pants, a white silk shirt, and a match blue leather vest on my lap. "That will get you started." He said. "Try them on while I finish the ensemble."

I pulled the clothes under the blanket and slipped the pants on right under the dress. They were warm and supply and I could tell they fit like a glove. I really wanted to see how they made me look.

With those on I jerked around underneath until I could pull the dress off completely. I guess bras were not a regular part of nineteenth century adolescent attire. Thankfully, once I had the silk shirt on, the leather vest was equally snug and supportive of my, uuummm, sizable interests.

"Bobbi, Molly also claims someone has twice placed her into story-like situations, though she cannot find any sign of the magical illusion being used." Hisha explained to the spirit. "What can you tell her about it?"

"I could take a look, but I already fulfilled my answer of the day requirement." She replied. "So unless you want to negotiate…"

The words hung in the air.

"What do you want?" Hisha's tone of exasperation told me he had played these games many times before.

"What do you think, forty-eight hours of freedom?" Bobbi replied.

"No, we are still paying to straighten everything out from the last time." Lord Kline came in firm on this one.

"Oh, it wasn't as bad as all that…"

"You went to Southerby's Auction and bought Empress Josephine's hope chest!" The troll's voice was a bit stressed.

"What? A girl like me can't have hopes of her own?"

"Not ones that cost over three hundred thousand pounds!" The troll answered. "Besides, you can't wear a wedding dress, and you don't have any family china from your mother to pass down, so, no, a girl like you does not need to have hopes like that."

The spirit eyes seemed to dim in a pout until Hisha voiced in. "You may have twenty four hours, but no more auctions."

Bobbi's eyes brightened. "It's a deal. There is this new swanky mall in Tokyo I heard about that can make music instruments out of crystal. I thought I would check that place out."

"Wait, what?" The troll seemed to be calculating the price of such items. "You can't take my credit card!"

"Of course, I wouldn't do that." Bobbi answered. "Spirit of Knowledge, duh! I've memorized the number already."

"Huh…"

Bobbi cut off the troll by emerging from her statue as a shower of sparks and rolling around me. Even covered by the blanket I could feel the occasional jolt when a spark got too close. If I ever wanted to know what it was like in a swarm of fireflies, now I had my answer.

The sparks pulled themselves back together and then reentered the statue. I could feel a sense of surprise even before she spoke.

"Wow, are you screwed." She started.

"I know, the quest is impossible."

"No, not that." She continued. "You have not one, but two powerful spells that have infused into your body."

"Is it something lethal? Hisha asked before I could. "Has Mab done something to her?"

"No they are both ancient spells called Sleepwalkers." Bobbi explained. "I'm not sure even Mab herself could cast this spell, much less do so twice. It doesn't smell like her type of work. But I can tell you that it was two separate beings who cast these spells."

"So, I have two wizards messing with me?"

"It would appear so." Bobbi replied. "Though I am not sure the term 'messing with you' is correct. This spell was created as a punishment to teach people lessons, rather than kill them outright. Don't misunderstand, if you screw up you will die, probably horribly, but the real intention of the spell is merely entertainment for the one who cast it."

"Wait, now I'm a reality television show?"

"More likely a bad sitcom, but the general analogy is correct."

"And this spell allows the wizards to watch me?"

"Only when you're asleep, hence the name." The spirit explained. "The spell is actually cast upon your subconscious so that when it takes over, it transports you right back to your lesson in progress, like a school. I believe the original Merlin used it on at least some of the Knights of the Round Table to teach them humility as they pretending to search for the Holy Grail."

I noticed Hisha and Lord Kline talking quietly and they both seemed distressed, but I couldn't be distracted or Bobbi would consider her transaction completed and leave. I had pull everything out her I could and deal with whatever else was a problem later.

"Can the…" A yawn broke my question. "Can the spells be broken somehow? Will sunlight take it down?" That was often the easiest way or ridding oneself of a harmful spell.

"Not that I have ever heard of." That meant no in my book. "They have to be completed."

"But I'm free from their effects as long as I don't go to sleep, right?"

"Yes, that's how it works."

The troll got up quickly and brought me what looked like a blue version of Harry's leather duster. "Stand up and put this on. And belt on those weapons while you are at it." He held the coat waiting for me to slip my arms in the sleeves.

I stood and did so with another yawn, while Hisha stuffed my oversized pockets with the extra ammunition boxes I had brought along. A glance at the monk was all I needed to confirm the sense of worry and regret from my two friends.

"What's wrong?"

"Molly, you will have to forgive us…" Lord Kline began.

"No, forgive HIM, it was all his idea." Hisha added.

"Forgive, for what." I started to sway on my feet and I suddenly realized what they meant. "Oh, you didn't…"

"Molly you looked exhausted so we added a little melatonin to your tea so you would sleep better." Lord Kline answered. Well that explained the cherry flavored tea.

"Oh crap…" I said losing my balance but feeling the trolls hands catch me before I fell.

"It is like I said…" I heard Hisha's voice seemingly some great distance from me and getting farther. "Crappy Diem…."


	6. Chapter 6

**Winter's Secret**

**Chapter 6**

"Tea?"

If a single three letter word could make you wonder if the speaker was crazy, then this one was overflowing with pure insanity.

I found myself, not surprisingly, sitting at a dinner table that had seen better days, with a formerly white table cloth now irrevocably soiled by tea and jam, along with some oddly odorous stains of questionable origin that I had no desire to even attempt to identify. So, it appears I was back in my Alice in Wonderland sleepwalker spell. Thankfully, though, I was still clothed in the dark blue leather outfit Lord Kline had completed for me. I was glad to see such things transferred into the stories.

My newly acquired weapons, however, were not belted on my side, but instead hung from a black walnut coat hook that seemed an actual extension of a white birch tree off to my right. My dad, being a carpenter in name and also in occupation, had often brought home various types of wood he was working on so identifying these two, especially by their contrast, was second nature. In truth, this odd contradiction of hard and soft wood, along with opposing colors, started to boggle my mind to distraction, which was a dangerous situation for any wizard to get into. But then I recalled that from what I remembered of Wonderland, such things were normal and I let it drop.

It was also the irritation in the second voice that broke my eyes free. "How rude it is for her to not answer our host." The masculine, yet slightly dandyish, voice of the elf from Oz spoke.

Oz?

"Wait, what are you doing here?" I asked turning to look at him seated on my left hand.

"I invited him." Not as surprising, the bunny chick sat across from him on my right awash in a rather disgustingly obvious emotional state of satisfaction and exhaustion. "And let me tell you it was worth it! So, girl to girl, what do you think of the new tattoo I added to him?"

Before I could turn away, the previously naked elf, thankfully, now not completely unclothed, stood up to reveal his newest addition of body art. It looked like a deformed red arrow surrounding his navel and pointing directly downward to his newly acquired leather g-string and what lay barely hidden behind it. I can't say I ever considered the idea of a man wearing butt floss to be particularly attractive. That said, keep in mind, Chicago is generally populated by big, hairy guys so it could be an environmental thing. But, at least compared to his nakedness it was slightly less distracting.

I turned to the psycho rabbit. "Why an arrow?"

The bunny chick looked at me. "That's not an arrow." She turned to smile at him before licking her lips. "It's a heart!" I could feel her lust overcoming her sense of exhaustion. "He is now my Knavel of Hearts."

Oh, God…

Maybe the Eighth Law of Magic should forbid the mixing of magical powers and bad puns. I think that is even more important to universal harmony than screwing with the time stream.

Bunny girl had also added to her attire. In this case it was a man's white silk dress shirt, unbuttoned enough to show cleavage and barely reaching down in length to cover her to mid thigh. Below that point, and from what I could tell underneath the shirt, she wore nothing else.

She also carried what looked like a three-minute egg timer on a watch chain that connected to the shirt pocket over her left breast. It swung freely like a pendulum.

"What's with the hourglass?"

Her smile turned more lecherous, if that was possible. "Oh, I keep it around to see if I can get Knavel to beat his record. Care to know his best time?" She winked.

Thankfully, I was not forced to answer.

"Do you want tea or not?" The elf asked, obviously not wanting that subject discussed as much as I didn't. "I believe our host world like to relax as well." He nodded to the end of the table where yet another Winter Fae sat with a silver tea service before him. The shadows of the surrounding woods, and the way he was bent over searching for something in a rather large sack on his lap and mumbling obscured identifying what type of Fae he was.

"I know it is one of these…" His arms shuffled through the bag, but it was the odd raspy tone of his voice as he mumbled that struck me as odd. Fae were usually not only physically attractive, but almost always gifted with beautiful, dreamlike voices as well; though most of the things they said were the subject of nightmares. This one, however, spoke like he had two really swollen lips, or just had a root canal and was still under Novocain.

"Ah, is this the one?" He pulled an Abe Lincoln type top hat from his sack and placed it on his head before lifting his face to stare at me.

"SHIT!" I said pushing away from the table and falling over backwards in my chair in a mad scramble to put more distance between us.

The White Rabbit and Knavel of Hearts both reacted in surprise, finding their feet and looking for what had caused my reaction, but finding nothing unexpected. I could care less. It was the insane Fae in the top hat who was within an arm's reach of me before I could find my feet that I stayed focused on. His eyes and emotions overwhelming reflected the confusion and madness that I sensed when he first asked me if I desired tea, but bubbling right below that surface was violence and anger that, like lava in a waking volcano, seemed to be seeking a path to the surface.

I flicker of recognition seemed to sparkle for a moment in those eyes, well okay the one eye that was still functioning, before flittering away back into schizophrenic insanity. The other, along with a sizable section of his face, showed the poorly healing results of a recent battle he had fought and lost. But that flicker had given him a potential lifeline to his lost sanity.

"Have we met before?" He asked as he involuntarily adjusted the hat on his head to sit more comfortably. "I think I know you. Isn't your name…"

"Alice!" I answered before he could come up with the correct answer himself. "Don't you remember? I'm Alice. You sent me an invitation for tea." From what Bobbi had said, I assumed the Sleepwalker spell affected the minds of the other participants as well. I might was well try to build off of that instead of starting my own story from scratch.

He looked at me and cocked his head. "Did I?" I responded by silently pushing a bit more emotional confusion and insanity his way. It's okay. I still had a full reserve of both of my own to spare. "Then what is my name?"

"You're name?" I didn't know if this was a trap so I went with a question to stall.

"Of course, if I invited you for tea, surely I signed my name to the invitation. What is it?" As he asked me this I sensed his confusion level rise even higher. Was it possible he was looking to me for the answer? For the first time since he looked up at me I dared to hope I might live for a minute or two longer. And while honesty may be a virtue, in this case I'd willing take another bottle of vice.

"Why you're The Mad Hatter."

He looked shocked, but also a bit relieved. "I am?" He asked and I merely nodded, not trusting myself to directly lie beyond this point.

What I said was technically true.

He was obviously mad; okay, to be completely honest, he was bat-shit crazy from the get go. I am pretty sure this was accentuated further by the injury he had recently suffered.

Hats were also a big thing with him. In fact, they were more or less central to his self identity.

You see, his real name was The Redcap; a psychotic killing machine who dyed his leather beret red, made from the skin of his first victim, by soaking it in the blood of all the others he killed. From what I gathered that was a pretty long list.

He had tried really hard to add Harry to that list not long ago, and received his facial scars for those efforts. Obviously, the injuries had also resulted in some form of amnesia, which was why I was still breathing and having a conversation at the moment instead of bleeding out.

"Well then, now that that is settled, I guess we should have tea." He said righting my chair and holding it out for me to take my seat. "Please be comfortable…Alice." The name forced its way with some inherent difficulty past his tongue.

I took a seat as he wandered back to his side of the table, taking off the ridiculous top hat and placing it back in the large canvas sack. He then began to rummage through it once more.

I immediately understood that the rest of the sack's contents were most likely other types of headgear. And from my time being trained by Lea, undoubtedly his bloody beret was in there too, just waiting for him to put it on and most likely restore his memories. Fae liked to torture humans with worries like that.

Yeah, it was working.

"I thought we were having tea." I reminded him as the Knavel and Rabbit looked at the two of us and then to each other. Without a word they stood up and wandered off together behind a patch of shrubs for a bit of privacy. Sex and slaughter; that really was the extent of many Fae lives.

The former Redcap, or is it more correctly the psychotic killer formerly known as Redcap, put the sack aside. "Of course we are, how rude of me!" He said picking up the serving tray as he came over and sat down in Bunny Girl's vacated chair. He placed the tea set equally between us. "Would you care to be mother?"

Huh? I had no idea what that meant until his one good eye glanced at the tea service making me understand that this was some quaint way of asking if I cared to pour.

"I will indeed." I replied, forcing a smile, and sending a host of non-threatening emotional vibes his way.

I lifted the pot, felt it radiating heat, as he lifted his cup expectantly in both hands. I considered trying to toss the hot liquid in his face and perhaps destroy his other eye, but old fashion tea pots are not made for that particular form of violence, and I doubted I could get in more than one good swing at his head with it. Since he'd already lived through everything Harry had thrown against him, I doubted such a feeble all-or-nothing teapot attack would succeed.

So instead I poured him a cup and one for myself.

"One lump or two?" Okay I admit I had to say that line partially because of the violent image of the teapot attack still in my mind, but mostly because I had watched far too many Bugs Bunny cartoons on Saturday mornings growing up. I did smile at him.

"None, thank you." He replied trying to sip the piping hot beverage but finding it too warm still.

"Allow me." I offered politely, taking the cup from his hand and blowing on it. I could feel the china cup cool to the perfect temperature once more. Like I said, that was certainly a handy perk. I then poured myself a cup, added lots of sugar for the extra energy, and sipped as well.

"So what do you wish to talk about?" The Redcap asked.

What the heck, maybe he could even be of assistance. "Actually, I am trying to solve a riddle but I can't seem to find the answer." If these sleepwalker spells were the twisted means by which I was to learn the secret, then perhaps I needed to get the ball rolling. It couldn't leave me any worse off than I was presently.

Actually, let me retract that statement before the universe finds a way to leave me worse off than I was presently.

"Well, I fear I will be no help to you." The Mad Hatter replied. "Somehow I sense I am more a man of action, than one who ponders the secrets of the universe."

Yeah, you are so right about that.

"Drink up! I think I know of a few who could possibly help. I will take you to see one of them right away while your friends are indisposed, unless you care to wait." The way he smiled made me consider that perhaps I didn't want to meet them. I mean if the Redcap liked them, who knows what type of…

"No need to wait, we're done!" Bunny girl replied emerging from the bushes, her few shirt buttons no longer properly aligned, but wearing a triumphant smile on her face. She held up the hourglass. "And it's new record even!" The elf was not nearly as excited by this revelation, but he followed along docilely behind her.

"Well, then let me grab a hat and we will be off." Redcap said as he moved with determination for his bag.

I jumped up and literally ran past him to reach the bag before he could and pulled out the first hat my fingers touched. "Here, this will look perfect on you." I said, holding it out without even looking at it, only knowing by its feel that it wasn't a leather beret.

He looked at ne in confusion. "A football helmet?"

I looked down to see that is exactly what it was. It was green and yellow with a large 'G' inscribed on both sides. As a native girl of Chicago I was trained to hate the Green Bay Packers, but in this case I was willing to put team rivalries aside for survival sake.

"Oh yes, it is the very height of fashion right now." I nodded enthusiastically and held it out further to him. "Even the President himself wears these to meet foreign leaders and kings these days."

"Well, if he does, then it must be the correct choice." Redcap nodded and placed the helmet on his head. Then he reached down and scooped up the large sack. "But I better bring the rest along just in case."

Of course you will…

"Let us not tarry." He smiled walking toward a path that seemed to open in the forest before us. "There is so much to do, and so little time."

Bunny Girl laughed. "I can so agree with that!" She looked first to me, and then to the elf, displaying a wicked smile, and followed right after Redcap. The elf went next, seemingly humbled, and I followed last to keep my eyes on all three of them.

Our path through the woods took way too long for my tastes, probably because I kept expecting things to jump out at me from behind every tree I passed. If you are unaware, there are a lot of trees in the woods.

We did see other creatures, mostly sprites and other small faerie folk, but they generally avoided us. I'm pretty sure Redcap was the reason for this, though Bunny Girl did snatch one that flew too close to her right out of the air and decapitated the little creature with a single bite, before eating the rest rather noisily as we wandered on. From that point on we were given a wide berth.

Finally, we opened up into a meadow that, again not surprisingly, had a giant mushroom on seeming display in the very center. A chimney rose up from the top and was cheerfully smoking like some odd cottage house for a Hobbit or something similar. Truth be told, that image was more or less what I was expecting from this weird dream. Though as we got closer someone turned the weirdness volume up a notch; literally, by adding a soundtrack.

No, it wasn't Jefferson Airplane either.

"_We're so sorry…Uncle Albert…_

_We're so sorry if we cause you any pain…_

_We're so sorry…Uncle Albert…_

_But there's no one left at home and I believe it's going to rain…"_

Annoyingly, but on cue, the sky suddenly opened up and doused the four of us. God, I hate parts of the Nevernever that act like this. Thankfully, after a brisk run, we made it under the cap of the mushroom and used that as a makeshift umbrella. On the downside, the rain sank the smoke down around us and the unforgettable smell of burning rope made sure I knew just what was burning.

"_We're so sorry…Uncle Albert…_

_But if anything should happen, we'll be sure to give a ring…"_

Redcap pressed on a bulbous part of the mushroom stalk and it rang just like a doorbell as the song suggested. Of course it did. I was already getting a slight buzz from the smoke so I just went with it.

As we waited for someone to answer the music continued, changing to the really annoying British voice with the echo effect.

"_We're so sorry…Uncle Albert…_

_But we haven't done a blood thing all day…_

_We're so sorry…Uncle Albert…_

_But the kettle's on the boil, and we're so easily called away…"_

The mushroom began to sway in time with the music, or at least it appeared to. I wasn't sure because I was actually hoping the mouths that opened up on the stalk to sing harmony were just a delusion. Sure singing was no threat, but mouths often had teeth.

"_Yeah…_

_Yeah…_

_Yeah…_

_Yeah…_

Then they started singing in two part harmony. Wow this was some potent smoke.

Does anyone know, is it even possible to get high in a dream?

Mouths on the right side of the door. _"Hands…across the water…"_

Left side. _"Water…"_

Right side. _"Heads…across the sky…"_

Repeat, but in reverse.

Left side. _"Hands…across the water…"_

Right side. _"Water…"_

Left side. _"Heads…across the sky…"_

I have no doubt you might find this funny, but considering I was on a time crunch to stay alive, and dealing with the Redcap, it wasn't. And I was also starting to get really woozy from the smoke.

So, of course, it was time for our host to enter the scene. I could hear the owner of the mushroom house singing even before the otherwise concealed door began opening in the stalk before us. The added trumpets that joined the music promoted the dull pain building in my ears to a full-fledged headache that seemed to be personally calling my name "Molly?" before his singing overtook it.

"_Admiral Halsey notified me…_

_He had to have a bath or he couldn't get to sea…_

_I had another look and I had a cup of tea_

_And a butter pie…"_

A feminine mouth of the left. _"Butter pie?'_

A drunken, masculine mouth on the right. _"The butter all melts so put it in the pie…"_

Just in case I missed it the first time, the stinging stalk repeated itself.

Mouths on the right side of the door. _"Hands…across the water…"_

Left side. _"Water…"_

Right side. _"Heads…across the sky…"_

Repeat, but in reverse.

Left side. _"Hands…across the water…"_

Right side. _"Water…"_

Left side. _"Heads…across the sky…"_

The door opened and our host finished off, looking past the others, who I'd like to think looked stranger than I did, and straight at me. Of course, he kept right on singing.

"_Live a little, be a gypsy get around…get around…_

_Get your feet up off the ground_

_Live a little, get around_

_Live a little, be a gypsy get around…get around…_

_Get your feet up off the ground_

_Live a little, get around_

If you are anything like me you are expecting some variation of a caterpillar. I mean, that is the whole essence of the Alice storyline. Yeah, not so much in this case. It was instead…

Oh wait, sorry the song hasn't ended…Back to you scary, singing mouths in the mushroom stem.

Mouths on the right side of the door. _"Hands…across the water…"_

Left side. _"Water…"_

Right side. _"Heads…across the sky…"_

Repeat, but in reverse.

Left side. _"Hands…across the water…"_

Right side. _"Water…"_

Left side. _"Heads…across the sky…"_

Fade out….

As I was saying, the owner of the house was not a hookah smoking caterpillar, Instead it was no less than Albert Einstein, frizzy hair and all, dressed in 70s disco attire, and holding a long Bavarian pipe from which it appeared all the smoke seemed to be originating.

"I just love da Beetles, don't you?" He said with an infectious smile.

I don't know if it was the smoke, or just his appearance, but I was suddenly much more at ease. It was like looking at my grandfather, well that was if my grandfather was a drugged out ex-hippie.

His smile was so overwhelming that I did not have the heart to tell him that this song was actually by Paul McCartney and Wings from after the Beatles broke up. I may occasionally be called upon to kill people, but I didn't have the heart to destroy his dreams like that.

"Uuuummm, yeah they are great." I replied not knowing what else to say about it. There was a swirl of other thoughts going through my mind that demanded addressing first, starting with. "Are you really Albert Einstein?"

He smiled. "No my dear." He said and shimmered to change into what looked like an old English gentleman that looked a lot like the pictures of Sir Issac Newton. "I am merely the physical representation of the sum of scientific knowledge." He said and in a moment transformed into an elderly, bifocal-wearing image of Benjamin Franklin, but still holding his pipe.

"Wait, the sum of scientific knowledge lives in a giant mushroom, smokes a pipe, and listens to Beatles music?"

"Yes, is there a problem?" He looked at me and winked.

"Nope, not at all." Actually, there were so many as to be mindboggling so I just put it all aside as if this were an everyday occurrence.

"Excellent, so what can I do for you?' He asked. But before I could answer my companions interrupted me.

"Can we borrow a room?" Bunny girl asked grabbing the elf by the arm and pulling him right past Mr. Franklin and into the house without waiting for an answer. "I promise we will be quick!" She called as she headed down the hallway and turned right into the first room.

"Wait that is the kitchen…" Ben called.

"Perfect!" Was a muffled response before the door slammed.

When he turned back to look at me, I was fortunate the awkward silence was broken instead by Redcap.

"Alice here has a riddle." He explained. "And since you know everything there is to know, I thought maybe you could solve it for her."

"Oh, of course." He answered as he stepped back to let us enter. "Can I offer you something to eat?"

As if on cue, there was a loud crash of pots and pans falling over in the kitchen. Ben turned his head in worry and then looked back to me. "No, I'm good thanks."

He shook his head in resignation. He also did not seem hungry at the moment which was probably a first considering what he was smoking. "Okay, so what is this great mystery you need to solve?"

I had nothing to lose by being honest so I decided that was the best approach. "I am looking for the secret of winter." My life did not immediately end so I figured this was expected in this dream.

"The secret of winter?" He seemed perplexed. "Are you seeking to understand why it snows? Or why there are ice ages?" He tried to clarify. "Is it a temperature-related question, or are you focused on the seasonal aspects of planetary elliptical orbits?"

Wow, those were all issues related to winter, but I'm pretty sure not the ones I was seeking. I don't mean to judge, but Maeve didn't strike me as a science geek and she had found the answer.

"Ummm, I don't think…" Another large crash of cookware interrupted me. Just how many pots and pans does one old man require? "I think it has to do with the Winter Court of Fae, not the season." I explained. Yet another final, and even louder, crash seemed to signal the completion of activities. Yeah, I hope old Ben can order out for pizza while he cleans up in there.

This dream was such a twisted spell!

"Oh, you are speaking of magic." Ben replied. "I am sorry but I'm a source of scientific knowledge only." The door to the kitchen opened up and the pair of Fae, a bit worse for wear, came strolling back into the room. "The Courts are all magic…" He looked at the pair. "…and emotion. They are not bound by science or reasoning."

"So you cannot help her?" Redcap asked.

"No, I am afraid I cannot." Ben said regretfully. I started to turn to go back outside. "But I think I know one who can…"

I turned to look back and question him with my eyes.

He finished his thought.

"His name is…"


End file.
